Chandler: (Waking up to find Eddie sitting near his bed) Hey Eddie. Ah! What are you doing here?
Eddie: Nothing roomy, just watching you sleep.
Chandler: Why?
Eddie: Makes me feel, um, peaceful, heh heh, please.
Chandler: I can't sleep now.
Eddie: You want me to sing?

Ross: (About Rachel's book) I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Joey: See, this is why I don't date women who read.

Rachel: Why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
Ross: Actually it's the movie theater that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.

Eddie: I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot feistier than the last one.
Chandler: Yeah, maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm!

Eddie: (Showing a dehydrated tomato) Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?
Chandler: Your last roommate's kidney?

Joey: (Wearing an old-looking hat) Hey.
Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. Well, look at you, finally got that time machine working, huh?
Joey: Seriously, you like it? This guy was selling them on 8th avenue and I looked at them and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: A mirror?
Joey: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.

Rachel: (Watching Days of Our Lives) She just found out that she was cut out of the will.
Phoebe: Doesn't she know you can't define yourself in terms of money? That it's about values and morals and your ability to give and receive love.
Rachel: No.

Tilly: I'm Tilly.
Chandler: Oh.
Tilly: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Chandler: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.

Chandler: (About Eddie) So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend, and killed his fish.
Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler: Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone... you have to kill a fish.

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