Season 1, Episode 13: "The Transformation "
Peter: (answering the phone) Bishop's House of Horrors.• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Astrid: It also gave him four extra nipples.
Peter: Maybe he mutated into an opossum.
Walter: No, opossum's have 15 mammaries, unlike most mammals, who have an even number of nipples. Hence, the one half rule regarding nipples.
Astrid: The one half nipple rule?
Peter: You just had to ask, didn't you?
Walter: The typical number of young in the litter is usually equal to half the number nipples on the animal. The number of nipples being the maximum litter size. Humans, for example, one child is the typical. Maximum, twins. Barring extraordinary cases when the young exceed the number of nipples.
Peter: God, I hope I never have to hear him say the word "nipple" again.
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Bowman: What weapons do you have? What weapons?!?
Male Flight Attendant: We have a taser in the cockpit which I will use on you if you don't calm down.
Bowman: Taser won't do a thing. It'll just piss me off.
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Season 1, Episode 12: "The No-Brainer"
Walter: With all due respect, Darwin got it all wrong. I used to make the joke that Darwin's thinking was rather... unevolved.Peter: Which I'm sure used to be very funny.
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Peter: I think I got a guy who can help us.
Olivia: Who?
Peter: Do you really want to know?
Olivia: Good point.
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Olivia: With all due respect, Agent Harris, I have done my due dilligence. I just got off the phone with my contact at the CDC. And they have seen nothing like it. But you tell me, does this look like a flu you've heard of? Where people's brains come out of their ears?
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Peter: I don't underestimate my father, by the way. I understand him. Sometimes more than I want to. Look, if I let him talk to that woman, she's just going to accuse him of killing her daughter, which is something he didn't do.
Olivia: Then why not just let them meet?
Peter: Whose side are you on anyway?
Olivia: I know what it's like to live with something unresolved. That's all.
Peter: Congratulations. You just described the entire planet.
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Peter: (to Olivia) I wanted to say that I've never had him in my life, Walter, and now, thanks to your insane freakshow of an operation, I do, have him in my life. And I think that I was a little scared.
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Season 1, Episode 11: "Bound"
Peter: Walter, what are you doing?Walter: I'm dosing a caterpillar.
Peter: Dosing? As in LSD?
Walter: It's a special blend.
Peter: I see. Hey, guess what just happened? Finding out that my father gives drugs to bugs, somehow just became a typical moment in my life.
Walter: Wonderful, isn't it?
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Rachel: Hard day?
Olivia: I honestly wouldn't know what to tell you. And if I did, it would be a felony.
Rachel: You have a crazy job.
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Total Quotes: 111
