Bender: I'm at the end of my rope. I can't live another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler.
Fry: Too bad he wasn't an alligator. Y'know, when you flush those things, they stay alive in the sewers.
Bender: Really?
Fry: Yep. My friend's cousin's caseworker saw one once. It's a widely-believed fact.

Leela: Thank you, Professor. I'm happy that Bender can finally feel my pain.
Bender: Happy. I like this feeling. Just don't revert to your usual mopey self.
Leela: I'm not mopey. You shut up!
Bender: Anger, huh? How dare you make me feel anger, you one-eyed jerk with a dead pet!

Dwayne: Please, do not be frightened, we're harmless.
Raoul: I have three arms.
Dwayne: I said "harmless" not "armless".
Vyolet: Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear.

Hang on, Nibbler. Uncle Bender's coming to save you. [He flushes the toilet but doesn't go anywhere.] Damn, it's too small. What did those humans design this for anyway?

Bender

Bender: I'm so lonely. I'm gonna go eat a bucket of ice cream. A bucket of-
Fry: The spoon's in the foot powder.

Fry: What's your problem?
Bender: I miss Nibbler.
Fry: You do?
Bender: Hell, no! It's Leela's stupid feelings. Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?

Raoul: Welcome to our village. It may not be Paris but it has a certain quaint charm that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world.
Bender: You guys realise you live in a sewer, right?
Dwayne: Perhaps. But perhaps your civilisation is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you.
Leela: No, we're on the top.
Fry: Daylight and everything.
Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
Bender: Eh.

Fry: Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? You're mutants.
Dwayne: Mutants? Perhaps it is you who are the mutants.
Vyolet: Please, Dwayne, have you looked in a mirror lately?

Leela: There's no such thing as mutants. That's a ridiculous urban myth.
Farnsworth: Oh, don't be so sure. Many scientists believe humans really could mutate down there. Uh, due to exposure to toxic waste and radioactive run-off and good old American faeces!
Fry: God bless America.

Leela: Now he's flushed himself down the toilet? Who's he gonna flush next?
Fry: Hey, it's your fault. He only flushed himself because your emotions made him feel bad.
Leela: You're right. I feel terrible.
Fry: Oh, great, now you're making him feel worse!

Bender: Uh-oh, jealousy. You think you're so hot!
Fry: What?
Bender: The only reason you get all the guys is because you dress like a tramp!
Fry: They're just responding to my personality.

Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
Bender: My God! I'm overcome with... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Zoidberg: That's me, baby!
Farnsworth: Hmm.
Bender: Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.
Amy: Uh... that's me.
Fry: Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy: Bingo!
Hermes: That's Leela!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 46 in total

Futurama Season 2 Episode 5 Quotes

They want a cake? I'll give them a cake (grabs a package of arsenic) mwahaha! (pours arsenic right next to a mouse hole) There, that oughta keep the rats away. Now, to bake a cake so delicious, they'll have to notice me!

Bender

(As Nibbler is being flushed down the toilet.)
Leela: Nooooooo!!
Bender: Can't you see I'm using the toilet?

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