Futurama

Futurama "Xmas Story" Quotes

Santa: You all been naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Dr. Zoidberg: A Pogo Stick!
 • Rating: Unrated

Farnsworth: They'll be killed on our doorstep, and there's no trash pickup until January 3rd!
 • Rating: Unrated

Leela: We set things right! Fry even risked his life to buy me a present!
Santa: But what about your other coworkers? Did either of you ever stop to think about Dr. Zoidberg's feelings?
Fry: No! I swear!
 • Rating: Unrated

Santa: Your mistletoe is no match to my Tow missile!
 • Rating: Unrated

Santa: I'm gonna shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
 • Rating: Unrated

Fry: There's this girl who I really like, but she thinks I'm a jerk. Can you help me?
Man: Yeah, there's a suicide booth in the food court. Though there's a line this time of year.
 • Rating: Unrated

Linda (the newscaster): Homeless robots, to poor to even afford the basic alcohol needed to fuel their circuits. Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies, and it would have to be a lot of them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Fry: I never thought it would end this way: Gunned down by Santa Claus. Honestly, I didn't see it coming!
 • Rating: Unrated

"He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you're on the can
If he sees you he'll blast your ass from here to Pakistan!
Oh, you better not breathe
You better not move
You're better off dead I'm telling you dude
Santa Claus is gunning you down!"
 • Rating: Unrated

O'Brien: So, people are getting pretty worried about this Y2K problem, huh?
Bender: No, they fixed that 900 years ago.
O'Brien: Just bear with me, sir. Anyway, I'm walking to work this morning-
Bender: I doubt it!
O'Brien: Listen, pal, I may have lost my freakishly long legs in the war of 2012 but I've still got something you'll never have: A soul!
Bender: Eh.
O'Brien: And freckles!
Bender cries
 • Rating: Unrated

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