Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face.

Tyrion

King Robert: Sometimes I don't know what holds it together.
Cersei: Our marriage.
King Robert: So, here we sit, 17 years later, holding it all together.
Don't you get tired?
Cersei: Every day.
King Robert: How long can hate hold a thing together?
Cersei: Well, 17 years is quite a long time.

I think mothers and fathers made up the gods because they wanted their children to sleep through the night.

Davos

If you're going to be a cripple, it's better to be a rich cripple. Take care, Snow.

Tyrion

Cersei: Targareyans wed brothers and sisters for 300 years to keep the bloodline pure. Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We shared a womb. We came into this world together, we belong together.
Ned: My son saw you with him.
Cersei: Do you love your children?
Ned: With all my heart.
Cersei: As do I.
Ned: And they're all Jaime's.
Cersei: Thank the Gods for that.

Walder Frey: My granddaughter, Waltha? Walra? Waldina.
Mary: I'm Mary.
Walder Frey: Fine.

Cersei: You're just a soldier, aren't you? You take your orders and you carry on. I suppose it makes sense. Your older brother was trained to lead, and you were trained to follow.
Ned: I was also trained to kill my enemies, your Grace.
Cersei: As was I.

The gods love to reward a fool.

Brynden Tully

I never loved my brothers. Sad thing for a king to admit, but true. You were the brother I chose.

Robert

Jaime: Quite the little climber, aren't you? How old are you boy?
Bran: Ten.
Jaime. Ten. The things I do for love.

Ned: Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it.
Jaime: People have been swinging at me for years, they always seem to miss.
Ned: You've chosen your opponents wisely.
Jaime: I have a knack for it.

Gilly: You know all that from staring at marks on paper?
Samwell: Yes.
Gilly: You're like, a wizard.

Game of Thrones Quotes

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

Tyrion Lannister