It's only wine.

Tyrion

He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.

Dany

Tyrion: And how do a bear's balls taste?
Yoren: A bit chewy. What about you, milord. What's the strangest thing you've eaten?
Tyrion: Do Dornish girls count?

King Robert: You heard The Hand. Go find the breast plate stretcher. Now!
Ned: The breast plate stretcher?
King Robert: How long before he figures it out.
Ned: Maybe you should have one invented.

Sansa: We have a new queen.
Tyrion: Better her than you.

Tyrion: Your uncle's in the Night's Watch.
Jon: What cha doing back there?
Tyrion: Preparing for a night with your family. I've always wanted to see the Wall.
Jon: You're Tyrion Lannister. The Queen's brother.
Tyrion: My greatest accomplishment. And you, you're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you? Did I offend you? Sorry. You are the bastard, no?

They'll be out in droves, looking for me in the wrong place. Word has probably gotten to my father by now. He'll be offering a handsome reward. Everyone knows a Lannister always pays his debts.

Tyrion

Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?

Jaime Lannister

Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!

Tyrion

Lord Stark. There are five pups. One for each of the Stark children. The Dire Wolf is the sigil of your house. They were meant to have them.

Jon

Jon Snow: We shouldn't.
Ygritte: We should.

Joffrey: Better looking bitches than you're used to uncle. My ma's been looking for you. We ride for King's Landing today.
Tyrion: Before we go, you will call on Lord and Lady Stark and offer your sympathies.
Joffrey: What good would my sympathies do them?
Tyrion: None, but it is expected of you. Your absence has already been noted.
Joffrey: The boy means nothing to me. And I can't stand the wailing of women. (Tyrion slaps Joffrey)
Tyrion: One word, and I'll hit you again.
Joffrey: I'm telling mother!
Tyrion: Go, tell her. But first you will get to Lord and Lady Stark and tell them how very sorry you are, that you are at their service and all your prayers are with them. Do you understand?
Joffrey: You can't... (Tyrion slaps him again)
Tyrion: Do you understand?
The Hounds: The prince will remember that, little Lord.
Tyrion: I hope so. If he forgets, be a good dog, and remind him.

Game of Thrones Quotes

Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.

Arya

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.