Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!

Tyrion

Tears aren't a woman's only weapon. The best one's between your legs.

Cersei

I much like my head. I don't want to see it removed just yet.

Tyrion

Shae: Some of those boys will never come back.
Sansa: Joffrey will. The worst ones always live.

Bronn: Do you know how to use that?
Tyrion: I chopped wood once. No, actually, I watched my brother chop wood.

Tyrion: I'm the captain. If this ship goes down, I go down with it.
Varys: I'm sure many captains said the same when the ship was afloat.

Tyrion: You can't fuck your way out of everything.
Shae: I have so far.

The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants his enemies drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious c-nts? Where is the god of t-ts and wine?

Tyrion Lannister

You're quite good at being Hand, you know. Jon Arryn and Ned Stark were good men, honorable men. But they disdained the game and those who play it. You enjoy the game. And you play it well.

Varys

I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

Tyrion Lannister

You've forgotten the most important thing about whores. You don't buy them, you only rent them.

Tyrion Lannister

Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?

Jaime Lannister

Game of Thrones Quotes

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

Tyrion Lannister