Favorite Gary Unmarried Quotes
Allison: I have to deposit these; can you stop writing "this is a holdup" on the memo line?
Gary: Come on, it got you on the news!
Fine, but we are officially even. After this, I don't want to hear how my big head ruined your body
Tom [to his mom]
Gary: Hey son, when are you leaving for the big dance?
Tom: As soon as cowzilla rips the roof off and plucks me out
Gary: Are you okay?
Tom: No I'm not okay, my heart is beating so fast my tie is moving
Walter: Are you aware that tom just left the house with a grown woman?
Allison: oh uh.. she's fifteen, Walter
Walter: Was she sent from some island to protect mankind?
Jack: Woh, deja vu
Gary: It's not deja vu, it's the fifth time you walked into the room!
Allison, I have the answer to all your problems, except your stretch marks and screechy voice...damn, we must have gotten disconnected.
Dennis [referring to the painters]: Anything you wan to say to m you can say in front of my real friends
Gary: Your real friends? We picked up three of these guys this morning
Taylor [to Allison]: You look like you've lost 190 pounds
Allison: What?
Taylor [about Gary]: I'm talking about this guy over here!
Taylor: Can I ask you a simple business philosophy question, do you hate making money?
Gary: Yes, I hate making money
Taylor: Well then you are doing everything right. Why don't you use any of the tricks or loopholes or mechanisms I've set up for you
Gary: It's the tricks, loopholes and mechanisms that got me audited in the first place. I'm a house painter, you have my corporate headquarters in the Cayman Islands!
Jack: I'm proud of you for helping him out, son
Gary: Thanks dad
Jack: You know you have a great big oversized help
Gary: That's why I'm helping him you think?
Jack: No, it's something I keep forgetting you tell you, it's hereditary
Gary: When are you gonna take time to be a kid
Louise: In my late 30's like you
Gary: I'd ground you for that, but then I wouldn't have anyone to play with
