Gary Unmarried

Gary Unmarried "Gary's Ex-Brother-In-Law" Quotes

Jack: I'm proud of you for helping him out, son
Gary: Thanks dad
Jack: You know you have a great big oversized help
Gary: That's why I'm helping him you think?
Jack: No, it's something I keep forgetting you tell you, it's hereditary
 • Rating: Unrated

Gary: I'm here for you, whatever you need, I'll do it for you. whatever it is you need. I'll help you
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: I'll put the TV on, I'll make you some soup
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: Run you a bath, get you a magazine
Taylor: I am a human being crying out in desperation and need, just come here and hold me!

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Taylor: Can I ask you a simple business philosophy question, do you hate making money?
Gary: Yes, I hate making money
Taylor: Well then you are doing everything right. Why don't you use any of the tricks or loopholes or mechanisms I've set up for you
Gary: It's the tricks, loopholes and mechanisms that got me audited in the first place. I'm a house painter, you have my corporate headquarters in the Cayman Islands!
 • Rating: Unrated

Taylor [to Allison]: You look like you've lost 190 pounds
Allison: What?
Taylor [about Gary]: I'm talking about this guy over here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: mom, they have a hamburger that costs $23
Allison: oh
Gary: does it come with a picture of the chef laughing at you?
 • Rating: Unrated

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