Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.

Emily: Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried.
Lorelai: Another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
Lorelai: Mom, you-you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous.
Emily: No, dear, that was a joke.

I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.

Lorelai

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.

Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Michel Gerard

Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.

Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.
Rory: What if I'd thrown a pen?
Luke: I would've brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out.

Oh, good donut selection this morning, really. Good variety, good color, good goodness, good . . . Well, so the choices are there. It all comes down to what I'm in the mood for. Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed, maple or kiki or apple or, uh, raised. Little donut rhyme there. Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled please?

Lorelai

Lorelai: Hey, guys, I have an idea. What about, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you know, when I go to Hartford for my business class, what if Lane comes along, and you guys can shop and study and join a cult and shave your heads?
Lane: Really?
Lorelai: All except the shaving your heads part.
Lane: Oh, no. What time is it?
Rory: 6:30.
Lane: I'm late for dinner.
Lorelai: Again? Lane, you mother is gonna kill me if I keep sending you home fed and happy.
Lane: I'm sorry. But she found a website that sells tofu in bulk.
Lorelai: Oh, you're kidding, right?
Lane: Yesterday, she went out and bought a bigger fridge.
Lorelai: Boy, now, your life is scary.

(Lorelai and Rory show up late at a town meeting)
Taylor: Late again, are we?
Lorelai: Yes, I hope I'm not pregnant.
Taylor: What?

Rory: What are you doing here?
Jess: I moved back.
Rory: What?
Jess: I moved back.
Rory: But...why?
Jess: Just...wanted to.
(Rory kisses Jess)
Rory: Oh my God!
Jess: Rory...
Rory: Don't say a word!
Jess: Okay.
Rory: (turns and begins to run away then looks back) Oh! Welcome home!

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

Lorelai: Work.
Rory: Life.
Lorelai: Dig it man.
Rory: Peace out Humphrey.