Emily: Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried.
Lorelai: Another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
Lorelai: Mom, you-you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous.
Emily: No, dear, that was a joke.

Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.

I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.


Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.

Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Michel Gerard

Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

(glances at her fuzzy clock) This is the last time I buy anything just because it's furry.


Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever.


I have got a sobbing pregnant woman at home, which is not unusual except this time I didn't cause it!

Jackson Belleville

(Lorelai and Rory show up late at a town meeting)
Taylor: Late again, are we?
Lorelai: Yes, I hope I'm not pregnant.
Taylor: What?

Rory: I wish I could figure out a way to get Paris off my back.
Lorelai: Yeah, angry chicks are the worst. When I was in high school I had a Paris.
Rory: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah, she was horrible.
Rory: How'd you get rid of her?
Lorelai: I got pregnant and dropped out.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.

Lorelai: So, dinner, thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.