I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.

Lorelai

Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.

Emily: Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried.
Lorelai: Another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
Lorelai: Mom, you-you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous.
Emily: No, dear, that was a joke.

Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.

Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Michel Gerard

Lorelai: You look peeved.
Emily: I'm not peeved.
Lorelai: Well, you look peeved.
Emily: Kindly stop making me say the word peeved.

Lorelai: Hey, guys, I have an idea. What about, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you know, when I go to Hartford for my business class, what if Lane comes along, and you guys can shop and study and join a cult and shave your heads?
Lane: Really?
Lorelai: All except the shaving your heads part.
Lane: Oh, no. What time is it?
Rory: 6:30.
Lane: I'm late for dinner.
Lorelai: Again? Lane, you mother is gonna kill me if I keep sending you home fed and happy.
Lane: I'm sorry. But she found a website that sells tofu in bulk.
Lorelai: Oh, you're kidding, right?
Lane: Yesterday, she went out and bought a bigger fridge.
Lorelai: Boy, now, your life is scary.

Jimmy: When you left home, were the cops after you?
Jess: No.
Jimmy: No cause they shouldn't be, or no cause they haven't found the head yet?

Lorelai Gilmore: [fitting Rory's new dress] Maybe we should bring it in a bit more.
Rory: Oh, sure, but first why don't you use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs and flatten my spinal cord in order to accommodate your sadistic wishes.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow.

Oh, good donut selection this morning, really. Good variety, good color, good goodness, good . . . Well, so the choices are there. It all comes down to what I'm in the mood for. Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed, maple or kiki or apple or, uh, raised. Little donut rhyme there. Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled please?

Lorelai
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