Lorelai: Rory, this was a bad one, okay? This was not Nick and Nora, this was Sid and Nancy, and I'm not going in there.
Rory: But the coffee is in there. And it's Danish Day. Are you seriously telling me that you're gonna let a stupid fight get in the way of Danish Day?
Lorelai: No, I'm not.
Rory: Good.
Lorelai: So go in there and order two coffees and two danishes to go.
Lorelai: So go in there and order two coffees and two Danishes to go.
Rory: You're kidding, right?
Lorelai: And don't forget the napkins.
Rory: Mom, he's gonna know what's going on. He's not stupid.
Lorelai: He cannot prove that you're not ordering all that for yourself, can he? No, so go on. Scoot, scoot. Mommy's right here.

Jess: Wanna play some poker? Five bucks a hand.
Luke: No.
Jess: Ten? I can't go any higher than ten.
Luke: Jess-
Jess: Okay, fifteen.
Luke: I don't want to play poker.
Jess: You sure?
Luke: Yeah.
Jess: Okie dokie.

Taylor: You're a very jaded man, Luke. What happened to you as a child?
Luke: Some creepy guy in shorts and knee socks tried to sit me down under a tree and glue rocks together for two hours. Put that down!

Lorelai tries to get Jess to understand that Luke is trying to help him
Jess: What are you sleeping with him or something?
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Jess: I don't know. The whole starry eyed 'you're so much better off, just give it a chance' speech. You're either really nave, or you're getting some.

Luke: (On the phone) Hi, Liz. Yeah, he got here fine.
Jess: Got here at ten this morning.
Luke: Okay, hang on a sec. Jess?
Jess: Pass.
Luke: Jess, come on.
Jess: Nope.
Luke: What am I supposed to tell her?
Jess: Tell her I gotta take another crack at that closet. I think I hung my Tool T-shirt next to my Metallica T-shirt, and they don't really get along.
Luke: You really want me to tell her that?
Jess: You think a different band combo would sell it more?

Luke: Wait, you need keys.
Jess: No, I don't. (Leaves)
Luke: I so don't wanna know why.

Luke: You won't bring up the bed?
Lorelai: Oh no, I'll definitely bring up the bed.

Luke: Sorry we're a little late. We had a little misunderstanding about what time we're actually supposed to leave to come here.
Lorelai: It's okay. How's it going?
Luke: Oh, well, not bad. Oh, the bed popped.
Lorelai: Yikes. Was anyone in it?
Luke: Me.
Lorelai: You?
Luke: Yeah, I let him take the real one.

Rory: Hey Luke.
Luke: Rory.
Rory: Um, I'll have two coffees and two cherry Danishes to go, please.
Luke: Two coffees and two cherry Danishes.
Rory: Oh, and some napkins.
Luke: One of these is for her isn't it?
Rory: Who? Oh, no no no. They're all for me. I am super hungry today. I was debating ordering three, but I'll tell you how I feel after two.
Luke:: Tell you what, I'll give you one Danish and one cup of coffee, you can sit over there and eat, and when you're finished them right over there where I can see you, then I'll bring you a second one.
Rory: You're really just gonna stand there and watch me eat a Danish?
Luke: Cable's out. I'm starved for entertainment.

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