Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy.
Lorelai: Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: Independence Inn. Michel speaking.
Lorelai: It's here. It happened. She did it.
Sookie: Okay, I'm gonna need a little bit longer sentence.
Mrs. Kim: So, how was school? None of the girls get pregnant, drop out?
Lane: Not that we know of.
Rory: Though come to think of it, Joanna Posner was glowing a little.
Mrs. Kim: What?
Lane: Nothing, Mama. She's just kidding.
Mrs. Kim: Boys don't like funny girls.
Rory: Noted.
Lorelai: (holding up a coffee cup) What? It's not for me. It's for Rory, I swear.
Luke: You're shameless.
Lorelai: Look, Officer Krupke, she's right at that table right over there.
(wrestling large, cumbersome harp through crowded lobby)
Drella: Aw, that's it, lady, tie your shoe NOW... Yeah, d-don't... don't worry, I'll wait!
Lorelai: Hi, Drella. hi... I was just wondering, ummmm... could you be, ahhh... nicer to the guests?
Drella: Oh, ah... um, I'm sorry, did you not want a harp player?
Lorelai: Yes, I did.
Drella: Did you not want a great harp player?
Lorelai: (sighs) Yes, I did.
Drella: OK... I am a great harp player... and this, is my great harp, 'kay?... So, if you're looking for someone to just be nice to the guests, get a harmonica player, maybe some guy who whistles through his nose, okay? Capisce?
Rory: So do you like cake?
Dean: What?
Rory: They make really good cakes here. They're very... round.
Dean: Okay, I'll remember that.
Rory: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are (gets a did-i-just-say-that look on her face).
(to Dean) It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Though personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much.
Rory
I love being a private school girl!
Rory
(Sookie feeds Lorelai a spoonful of sauce)
Lorelai: Oh, dear God Almighty. That's incredible!
Sookie: I want to put it on the waffles tomorrow morning for breakfast.
Lorelai: I want to take a bath in that sauce!
Sookie: I will make more!
Lorelai: Someday when we open our own inn, diabetics will be lining up for this sauce.
Sookie: Won't that be great?
Lorelai: Yeah, but the key to someday achieving that dream is for you to stay alive long enough so we can actually open an inn, you understand?
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
(to Rory) Oh, you're not gonna give me the 'Mommie Dearest' treatment forever, are you?
Lorelai
