Lorelai: Luke, I need fifteen thousand dollars which I can't find, don't have, and if I don't find, the house is gonna fall down.
Luke: I can help you with that.
Lorelai: You can?
Luke: Yeah, I can get a couple guys, we can get in there and do the work.
Lorelai: You can fix this?
Luke: Well, I can help. I know a good contractor. He did some work on the diner.
Lorelai: What about the money?
Luke: Um, you won't have to deal with that right away.
Lorelai: I won't?
Luke: No, you can pay it out in installments if you want. Monthly, bimonthly, whatever - whatever you're comfortable with.
Lorelai: So, let me get this straight. Uh, you and some guys who actually know what they're doing are gonna come over and fix my house, and I can pay them back whenever I want?
Luke: That's right.
Lorelai: 'Cause I'm Tony Soprano?
Luke: Only scarier.
Lorelai: Now Luke, when I finally do make out this installment check, uh, who should I make it out to?
Luke: Well, you can make it out to me if you like.
Lorelai: Oh, so basically you would be fronting me the money?
Luke: Well, yeah, but it's no big deal.
Lorelai: Luke, that's a loan.
Luke: No, it's just a temporary exchange of money for services that will be paid back when you finally have the... it's a loan.
Lorelai: Man, you suck as a liar. Thank you.
Luke: You're welcome.
Lorelai: I can't take it.
Luke: I know, but it was worth a shot.

Rory: You're being stubborn.
Lorelai: Oh no! Have I shocked you?

Emily: If you didn't work so hard you wouldn't have a tension headache.
Lorelai: It's not a work tension headache, mom.
Emily: So, then you are sick.
Lorelai: Actually, I am. I'm sick.
Emily: I knew it. What's wrong?
Lorelai: Consumption with a touch of the vapors. I'm going for a leeching tonight after coffee.
Rory: She's got a case of exterminatoritis.
Emily: What's that mean?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: We have termites.
Emily: Oh, that's terrible.
Lorelai: It's not so bad.
Rory: They're eating our whole house.
Lorelai: But they always say thank you.

Lorelai: You are not seriously sitting there.
Emily: No, it's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?

Rory: Maybe I didn't study hard enough. Maybe I got cocky.
Lorelai: Maybe you need a major mud bath/salt glow/chill pill combo.

(about a boy) What happened? I thought we really connected in that supply closet.

Louise

(to Rory) Be sure to gloat a little, it's good for your skin.

Lorelai

Rory: Why aren't you saying anything?
Dean: Words seem to be very dangerous right now.

Lorelai: Hey, I got your note.
Rory: Yeah, well, putting it in the mallomars was a pretty safe bet.

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