Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this francais business you're babbling about.

</i> Michel

(Emily on the phone with Lorelai after finding out that Lorelai attended a cat's wake instead of her unknown cousin's funeral)
Lorelai: It's late, I have a big day tomorrow.
Emily: You're going to a raccoon's wedding?

Mr. Medina: I think we should date.
Lorelai: Why?
Mr. Medina: Because I think we both want to.
Lorelai: Well I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn't mean I quit my job and get a guitar and ruin my life to be a Bangle, does it?
Mr. Medina: The Bangles broke up.
Lorelai: Yeah, that's not the point.

Lorelai: Life is a funny funny thing, huh?
Sookie: Yeah I love that Jim Carrey.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Jim Carrey. He's just -- he's just -- funny.
Lorelai: He is funny but I didn't mean funny, funny. I'm being philosophical.
Sookie: Oh. Very serious face. Jean-Paul Sartre.

Lorelai: (to Max) I'm going to be in town tomorrow because I take a class at Hartford State and there's a coffee shop across the street that I sometimes, almost all the time, go to around 4:00 and usually exactly 4:12. I could not stop a person from entering said establishment around that time, nor would I avoid them if I knew them if they did.

Dean: Well, I've been kind of bugging you lately. Uh, I thought -- I don't know -- I thought that maybe you liked me. But it's obvious that you're not interested so I just wanted to say that I get it and I'm not gonna bother you anymore.
(Dean starts to leave, Rory gets up to follow him)
Rory: Wait! I am interested.
Dean: You are?
Rory: Yes. I gotta go.

(After Lorelai is snippy to her)
Rory: Ooooh, she's cranky this morning.
Lorelai: Let's just say the world's got a formidable opponent.

Michel: Fine, I shall be French, but I shall not be happy.
Lorelai: Then you will be yourself. Good choice! (pats him on the back)

Babette: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So's Maury. Too many clams.
Maury: Baaad clams!
Babette: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment...
Lane: You had clams at Al's?
Rory: Al's Pancake World?
Babette: Yeah, well, we had coupons...

It wasn't the clams, Maury... in human years, this cat was 260 years old.

Veterinarian

Michel: I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.
Lorelai: Really!
Michel: That is why I left France.
Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches, and the villagers.

Emily: So you're not going?
Lorelai: Not this time.
Emily: I don't think Claudia's planning to die a second time.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Lorelai: Work.
Rory: Life.
Lorelai: Dig it man.
Rory: Peace out Humphrey.

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.