Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 1 Episode 14: "That Damn Donna Reed"

Lorelai: Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint.
Luke: You do?
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: You love it?
Lorelai: I want to marry it.
Luke: You have strange passions.
Rory: She likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taylor: When standards slip, families flee and in comes the seedy crowd. You got trouble, my friends.
Lorelai: Right here in River City!
Taylor: This is not funny, Lorelai.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Can brains hurt?
Lorelai: Yes, it's hypochondria hour.
Rory: No, I'm serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.
Lorelai: Your brain pinged?
Rory: Yeah. It just went like 'dink.'
Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dean: (about Donna Reed) She seems happy.
Lorelai: She's medicated.
Rory: And acting from a script.
Lorelai: Written by a man.
Rory: Well said, Sister Suffragette.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: My favorite episode --
Lorelai: Mm, mm...tell me, tell me.
Rory: -- is when their son, Jeff, comes home from school and nothing happens.
Lorelai: Oh that's a good one. One of my favorites is when Mary, the daughter, gets a part-time job and nothing happens.
Rory: Another classic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Christopher: Nice shirt. Take it off.
Lorelai and Rory turn around staring at the guy on the motorcycle
(Christopher takes off his helmet)
Lorelai: Christopher.
Rory: Dad!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Rory sets a bird cage down on the table)
Lorelai: What is that?
Rory: It's for school.
Lorelai: Aww, he's so cute! What's his name?
Rory: Case Study Number Twelve.
Lorelai: Is that hyphenated?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Where are you going?
Lorelai: To Luke's. We're picking out paint colors tonight, so it's gonna be hours of "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no," until my world-famous perseverance wears him down and he winds up in a ball on the floor crying like a girl. Wanna come watch?
 • Rating: Unrated

(dinner at Emily and Richard's)
Lorelai: Mmm, kickass wine.
Emily: How poetic!
Lorelai: It's got a nice smell. Earthy, vibrant, you can taste the Italian's feet.
Richard: Well, it's a Bordeaux, it's French.
Lorelai: Ha, what's an Italian's foot doing in a French wine?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: (to her parents) You're both going to hell, I hope you realize that.
Richard: At least we'll be well rested.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lorelai is trying to convince Luke to paint the diner)
Lorelai: Come on. We'll drink a couple beers, we'll sing painting songs!
Luke: Painting songs?
Lorelai: Yeah, painting songs like, um, you know, the song that goes:
Grab your brush and grab your rollers, all you kids and all you bowlers - We're going paintin' today!
Say yes or there's another verse!
Luke: Well, I guess maybe if I had help.
Taylor: Really? Oh my God! That's wonderful! Hurrah!
Luke: Taylor, it's not for you, it's for me.
Taylor: I can't wait to tell the rest of the committee, they're not going to believe this!
Luke: I hate that he's pleased.
Lorelai: Ahh, you'll drop a gum wrapper on the street in front of his store later.
Luke: Yeah, good idea!
 • Rating: Unrated

Emily: (about Luke) And how did he know that the bird was missing? What, was he strolling by your house and he heard your plaintive cries for help?
Lorelai: Mom.
Emily: Or the helpless cheep of a chick in trouble?
Lorelai: I called him, Mom. OK? I called him and asked him to come over and help me look for the bird. OK?
Emily: It seems like this man is always around when you're in trouble.
Lorelai: He's a good friend.
Emily: Oh, please.
Lorelai: Do we have to discuss this?
Emily: Lorelai, I'm getting a little tired of being lied to.
Lorelai: Apparently we do.
Emily: This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: Why do you treat me like I don't have a clue in the world as to what is going on in your life? Now I'm asking you, as a favor, if you have any respect for me at all as your mother, just tell me. Do you have feelings for this man?
Lorelai: I don't know. Maybe I do. I haven't given it much thought. Maybe I do.
Emily: Thank you. I'm glad you were finally honest with me. Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking. Don't forget the ice.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Rory just dressed up in a cute apron the other day, and so I was just teasing her about it.
Richard: Why did you get dressed up in an apron?
Lorelai: W..well, we decided to give up on that pesky Harvard dream and focus on something more realistic. Mom, dad, Rory's decided to become a maid, just like I was.
Emily: Is that funny? (to Richard) Did you think that was funny?
Richard: What would have possessed you to say such a thing?!
Emily: And in front of Rory?!
Lorelai: I was kidding.
Emily: God, my heart stopped!
Lorelai: (To Rory) Why don't you tell them about your bird? That seems like a safe subject.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: We always go to the Vineyard at this time of year.
Lorelai: Well, you know, you could break the chain, Dad. Go to Paris.
Rory: Yes, Paris!
Lorelai: Impressionism, poodles.
Rory: Crme brle.
Lorelai: Oh, that's great!
Richard: Impossible!
Lorelai: Pourquoi? (speaking to Rory) French.
Emily: We only go to Europe in the fall.
Lorelai: You know, Mom, I heard a rumor Europe's still there in the spring.
Rory: I heard that too.
Emily: We know that it's there in the spring but we never go in the spring because we always go in the fall.
Lorelai: It's getting a little too Lewis Carroll for me.
Richard: Well what is so interesting about Europe in the spring?
Lorelai: Spring vegetables.
Emily: You want us to go to Europe to eat a vegetable?
Lorelai: No, Mom. I don't know. There's all kinds of stuff. There's festivals and, you know, Europe.
Emily: In the fall.
Richard: It costs a fortune to travel first class in Europe. We only do it every two years.
Emily: In the fall.
Richard: It's just not in the budget this year.
Lorelai: You don't have to fly first class.
(Emily and Richard both look stunned)
Lorelai: 'Cause there's always coach.
(Richard looks even more stunned)
Lorelai: (taken aback) Or business class is slightly less. There's deals on the Internet. (Richard and Emily remain silent) Hmm. (to Rory)Pass the potatoes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: So you're saying Luke thought I made up a crazy story about a chick being loose in the house just to get him in bed?
Sookie: Not just to get him in bed, but maybe he thought you wanted to see him and you didn't know how to say it.
Lorelai: That's nuts.
Sookie: A woman asking a man to come over late at night to her house. Come on.
Lorelai: Yeah. But this is Luke we're talking about.
Sookie: Uh-huh. Why did you call him?
Lorelai: Because I needed help.
Sookie: Yeah. Why didn't you call me?
Lorelai: Because I assumed you would be with Jackson.
Sookie: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Well I did.
Sookie: Why didn't you call Rory?
Lorelai: Because she would have been furious to find out that Stella was missing.
Sookie: Why didn't you call Patty? She raises chickens.
Lorelai: Sookie.
Sookie: Or Andrew? He lives right around the corner, doesn't he?
Lorelai: What is your point?
Sookie: My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke.
Lorelai: Because I had just been with him. We were picking out paint samples. He was on my mind. It was purely a timing thing.
Sookie: Picking out samples.
Lorelai: Yes.
Sookie: For Luke's place.
Lorelai: Yes.
Sookie: So you could paint together.
Lorelai: Once again, yes!
Sookie: Mm-hmm. Which I believe was your idea.
Lorelai: OK, so now the fact that I suggested painting Luke's diner also means that I wanted to get him in bed. All of a sudden I'm trying to get any poor, unsuspecting person in bed with me. I'm like... I'm Michael Douglas!
Sookie: Lorelai. This...
Lorelai: Just... thanks for the omelette.
Sookie: No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad. Don't be mad at me.
Lorelai: I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm tired.
Sookie: OK. You know, Luke is a really nice man.
Lorelai: Bye, Sookie.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Richard and Emily have finally managed to secure a place on Martha's Vineyard)
Emily: The two of you must come up for the weekend. It is so lovely. Rory would just love it.
Rory: (speaking to Lorelai) Can we go for a weekend?
Lorelai: We'll see how much Valium Auntie Sookie can lend Mommy, OK?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 13: "Concert Interruptus"

Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
Rory: Are there crackers?
Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.
Rory: And in the Gilmore house?
Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: We haven't argued about the hat.
Lorelai: What hat?
Rory: The one on your head, Annie Oakley.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: What the hell do you think you're wearing?
Lorelai: Uh, a hat.
Luke: Take that off.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Now that is not yours, take it off.
Lorelai: But I'll have hat hair!
 • Rating: Unrated

(trying to find a place to work on their debate for school)
Paris: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it 'angel's kiss' then we're going to have to find somebody else's house to go to.
Madeline: My brother has the measles.
Louise: My mom's having an affair.
 • Rating: Unrated

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