Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 2 Episode 19: "Teach Me Tonight"

Luke: Look, I'm sure it was an accident. Accidents happen.
Lorelai: Not when my kid's in the car, they don't!
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: (about Rory) I made sure she was okay.
Luke: I know you did.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kirk: Ah, Lorelai, good. I need one minute of your time.
Lorelai: I'll give you two because you scare me.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Rory: We're studying.
Jess: You're studying. I'm prying into your personal life.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taylor: You're not serious?
Lorelai: Not often, but just there yeah, I had some serious going.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kirk: I don't know if you know this about me, but I have a very creative mind.
Lorelai: I did not know that about you, Kirk.
Kirk: It's true.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: So, there was an ambulance?
Rory: Yes, there was.
Lorelai: Did they use the sirens?
Rory: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Ooh, I hope Taylor was already in bed!
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Shh! The chair is trying to sleep.
 • Rating: Unrated

Christopher: I'm going to need a picture of this Jess so I don't accidentally rip off the head of the wrong kid, because that would be bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: Pick a card.
(Rory takes the cards from him and tosses them on the floor)
Jess: Huh. Well that just made the trick a little bit harder.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Settling down to sleep in Rory's room)
Lorelai: Good night.
Rory: Freak of side show proportions.
Lorelai: I love you, too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: (To the nurse in the hospital) Hey, do you remember in Terms of Endearment that scene where Shirley MacLaine is in the hospital and freaks out because they won't giver her daughter a shot? She got that from me and she toned it down a little.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: I hate crossword puzzles. They make me feel stupid.
Rory: Then don't do 'em.
Lorelai: Well, but if you don't do them, you're not only stupid, you're also a coward.
Rory: Or you have better things to do with your time.
Lorelai: You think people will buy that?
Rory: The people who line up on a daily basis and ask you if you do crossword puzzles and then, when you say no, challenge you as to why? Yes, I think they will buy it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: They're not going to fire Dean.
Lorelai: Really, why not?
Rory: Well, for starter's, someone stole Taylor's ladder last week and Dean is the only one who can reach the top shelves.
Lorelai: Huh, interesting.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Just as Marty, aka Eve Harrington, shows up trying to take Dean's job, Taylor's ladder mysteriously disappears, suddenly making Dean invaluable no matter what fancy tricks Lon Chaney Junior over there pulls. Good thinking, Dean smart thinking, my friend.
Rory: You need to start napping in the afternoons.
 • Rating: Unrated

(During a test. Jess asked Lane for a pen and she said that there was one in her backpack)
Jess: My mother told me never go through a lady's bag. . .at least, not until you're a couple blocks away. I'm just kidding, she never said that. Though it sounds like pretty good advice, doesn't it?
Lane: Take it and shut up. (She hands him a pen)
Jess: Well, I tell you, it's true small towns sure are friendly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Uh, I made some brownies, I thought you might like some.
Lorelai: Oh, gee, since I just ate half a bag of marshmallows, six Pop Tarts, four bagel dogs and a really stale Cheese Nip yup, it's brownie time, thanks. Hey, here's a question for you.
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Well, you probably have a diner full of people who would love these brownies plus, I bet they'd pay you for 'em.
Luke: Well, I accidentally dropped triple the amount of cocoa powder in the batter so I either had to dump the batch or find someone with some sort of superhuman chocolate tolerance only one name came to mind.
Lorelai: God, I love being special.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jess: Okay, well, I'll be right over there when you are. I just can't wait for that learning to begin. Hey, are we gonna do some of those Schoolhouse Rocks songs?
Rory: I'll be right there, Jess.
Jess: 'Cause they say if you just make learning fun. . .
Lorelai: Give us a minute, okay?
Jess: Well, hurry a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: I asked you if anyone was hurt.
Lorelai: Was anyone hurt? Well, let's see, Rory is in the hospital right now with a fractured wrist, so yeah, I'd say someone was hurt!
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Was Jess hurt?
Lorelai: No, Luke. Jess did the hurting. That little punk nephew of yours almost killed my kid tonight!
 • Rating: Unrated

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