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Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Lorelai: Glad you could join us.
- Permalink: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution. Glad ...
(Settling down to sleep in Rory's room)
Lorelai: Good night.
Rory: Freak of side show proportions.
Lorelai: I love you, too.
- Permalink: Good night. Freak of side show proportions. I love you, too.
Lorelai: You have a new special.
Luke: I sure do.
Lorelai: Nice. What is the special omelet?
Luke: You won't like it.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: Because you've been eating here for years and I know what you like, and you won't like it.
Lorelai: Can I at least hear what it is?
Luke: Fine. It's three eggs with bits of bacon.
Lorelai: I like bacon.
Luke: Cubed tomatoes.
Lorelai: Sounds good.
Luke: Swiss cheese and a dash of oregano.
Lorelai: A dash, he says.
Luke: I've got other customers here.
Lorelai: I'm gonna go with the special omelet.
Lorelai: With a side of bacon.
Luke: There's bacon in the omelet.
Lorelai: Oh, then skip the bacon.
Luke: The side of bacon?
Lorelai: The bacon in the omelet.
Luke: Hold the bacon.
Lorelai: Can I get Jack cheese?
Luke: On the side?
Lorelai: Instead of Swiss, Swiss is so stringy.
Luke: Fine, Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Also, I think I'm allergic to oregano so hold that, too, and some coffee.
Luke: So, just the eggs, tomatoes, and Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Not too many tomatoes.
Luke: Light on the tomatoes.
Lorelai: Very light, just a teeny-tiny amount, practically none.
Luke: I'm skipping the tomatoes. It's an omelet with Jack cheese.
Luke: You did this on purpose.
Lorelai: Did what?
Rory: French toast for me. (to Lorelai) That was cruel.
- Permalink: You have a new special. I sure do. Nice. What is the speci...
Lorelai: Do you want a soda?
Dean: No, thanks. I'm gonna go. Uh, don't tell Rory I was here, okay?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm just sitting here at the table talking to myself. . .again.
- Permalink: Do you want a soda? No, thanks. I'm gonna go. Uh, don't tell R...
(Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks through the front door. The phone is ringing)
Rory: Mom! (answers the phone) Hello? (hangs up) That ringing is not in your head, you know.
Lorelai: Uh, you've gotta read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent!
Rory: Why didn't you answer the phone?
Lorelai: Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I knew who it was.
Rory: Who was it?
Lorelai: The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh.
Lorelai: Dean the determined.
Rory: Oh man.
(phone rings again)
Lorelai: Five bucks says I know who that is.
Rory: (answers the phone) Hello?
Richard: Rory, it's your grandfather.
Rory: Oh, hey Grandpa.
Lorelai: He did that on purpose.
- Permalink: Agh! Hey. Gah! Mom! Hello? That ringing is not in your h...
She likes Jess, doesn't she?Dean
- Permalink: She likes Jess, doesn't she?
Emily: Next thing I know you'll be saying I need a psychiatrist!
Lorelai: Too many comebacks. I cannot pick.
- Permalink: Next thing I know you'll be saying I need a psychiatrist! Too ...
Emily: Lorelai, don't eat dinner yet.
Lorelai: (pointing to food) This isn't dinner, it's my private stash.
- Permalink: Lorelai, don't eat dinner yet. This isn't dinner, it's my pri...
Michel: You do know what happens when you assume, don't you?
Michel: I don't know! Something about a donkey. It's a stupid American phrase!
- Permalink: You do know what happens when you assume, don't you? What? I...
Paris: (passing out binders advertising her idea for a product) The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is busy walking from class to class indoors, outdoors, in all types of weather. At the same time, that same teenager is going through major physical changes within his or her own body. The combo of the action with the environment in addition to the hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing accidents.
Madeline: What are you talking about?
Paris: Monday morning, Muffin wakes up and looks in the mirror. 'Oh no, I have a zit on my face. I'll just look down when I walk so hunky football player won't notice.' And bam Muffin smacks right into the cafeteria wall. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
Madeline: Who's Muffin?
- Permalink: The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven h...
Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Madeline: Very True.
- Permalink: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good mo...
(Dean on answering machine)
Beep* Hey, it's me. It's 4:00. Call me when you get home.
Beep* Hey, uh, it's 4:30. I'm home. Call me.
Beep* Quarter to 5:00. Hey, where are you? I'll try to page you.
Beep* 5:30. Did you get my page? Call me with the answer. Bye.
Rory: They're not all from him.
Beep* Hey, I totally forgot you were getting home at 6:00.
Lorelai: And yet, oddly, after remembering that information...
Beep* Hey, it's 5:45 and I just thought I'd see if you got home early.
Lorelai: I swear that boy would make a good drinking game.
- Permalink: 00. Call me when you get home. 30. I'm home. Call me. 00. Hey,...