(During a test. Jess asked Lane for a pen and she said that there was one in her backpack)
Jess: My mother told me never go through a lady's bag. . .at least, not until you're a couple blocks away. I'm just kidding, she never said that. Though it sounds like pretty good advice, doesn't it?
Lane: Take it and shut up. (She hands him a pen)
Jess: Well, I tell you, it's true small towns sure are friendly.

Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Lorelai: Glad you could join us.

(To the nurse in the hospital) Hey, do you remember in Terms of Endearment that scene where Shirley MacLaine is in the hospital and freaks out because they won't giver her daughter a shot? She got that from me and she toned it down a little.


Jess: Okay, well, I'll be right over there when you are. I just can't wait for that learning to begin. Hey, are we gonna do some of those Schoolhouse Rocks songs?
Rory: I'll be right there, Jess.
Jess: 'Cause they say if you just make learning fun. . .
Lorelai: Give us a minute, okay?
Jess: Well, hurry a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Luke: Look, I'm sure it was an accident. Accidents happen.
Lorelai: Not when my kid's in the car, they don't!

Rory: We're studying.
Jess: You're studying. I'm prying into your personal life.

Kirk: Ah, Lorelai, good. I need one minute of your time.
Lorelai: I'll give you two because you scare me.

Jess: (about Rory) I made sure she was okay.
Luke: I know you did.

Kirk: I don't know if you know this about me, but I have a very creative mind.
Lorelai: I did not know that about you, Kirk.
Kirk: It's true.

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