Why do we even HAVE this little hammer?!

Desi

Marnie: You're perfect.
Desi: No, you're perfect. You're like this shooting star and I'm like a rat in the gutter.

Hannah: Thanks for coming out with me!
Jessa: You said you would cut off my hair if I didn't let you take me out for rice pudding.

Hannah: Why are you being so mean to me?
Jessa: I'm always mean to you.
Hannah: Yeah, but usually it's nicer.

Jessa: I've wanted this for a really long time.
Adam: Me too.

Maybe nothing went wrong. Maybe the relationship just lasted for the amount of time it was supposed to. Maybe all relationships have, like, a finite life span. Like Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson. Or Fran and me.

Hannah

You are incapable of loving someone who is kind to you.

Loreen

I think you guys really did fuck me up.

Hannah [to her mother]

Hannah: Plus, isn't gay husband kind of the same as no husband, sexually speaking?
Loreen: No, sex has never been our problem. It's actually even been better lately. Less pressure. Mm mm mm.

Sometimes, at night, I think about Japan, and I'm like, "Did I create this country in my mind?"

Shoshanna

You know, I've actually never had sex with a woman before. I mean, I've done other stuff. I went to Oberlin, so I'm not, like, a monster.

Hannah

She's a beautiful fuckin' rainbow. Cutting and sublime. And she's gonna be the best fuckin' therapist ever. I envy her future patients because she's a truth-teller. And her perfect face is the least beautiful thing about her.

Adam [about Jessa]

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.