Tuesdays 8:00 PM on FOX
Glee

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

[to Santana] I'm glad you came back to play Rizzo. I feel bad for Mercedes but if her parents want her to be a boy, then I don't know, I guess it makes sense.

Brittany

Holly: I'm Holly Holliday.
Terri: Are you a porn star or a drag queen?

I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day. But it was a mistake.

Quinn [to Puck]

Isn't it amazing how life seems so easy when you just don't give a fart? I mean look at this. Hummel is getting married. Berry is just full of confidence. And I finally have a girlfriend who I don't have to worry about straying for penis.

Santana

What I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance.

Quinn

Have you ever liked someone so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?

Rachel

I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.

Puck

Tina: For the record, Blaine has an awesome body and a perky and delicious behind that looks like it got baked to perfection by some sort of master chef.
Blaine: Thanks, Tina.

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