Holly [on abstinence] It's like saying vegetarianism is an option for lions.

It's in my DNA to be intense, okay, just like it's in Porcelain's DNA to poop rainbow glitter.

Sue

You look terrible. I look awesome.

Brittany

Mike Chang, Asian dancer.

Mike Chang

If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50 percent discount.

Blaine

Holly [in Spanish] Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?

I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.

Brittany

Aren't there great songs about betrayal or something? I'm pretty sure there are some Eagles songs.

Emma

You sing like a girl. In a good way.

Kurt's dad

Rachel: I heard him. At least I think it's a him.
Kurt: Oh, let's not label or judge.

I know what I would do if I was in your position. I’m just not worth it.

Santana

Blaine: We should practice.
Kurt: I thought we were.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.