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Marley: If it's alright, I'd like to sing one last Britney song.
Artie: Did that come out this morning, 'cause we scraped the bottom of that Britney barrel.

[to Rachel] Here's the thing. I will respect your boundaries, but just know that when we're together, whatever we talk about, whatever we're doing. I'm thinking of kissing you.


Kurt: He hasn't called you because he loves you, not because he's forgotten about you. Your freedom is a gift he's given you--accept it.
Rachel: It's just so much freedom all at once it's starting to feel like loneliness.
Kurt: The only cure for loneliness is cake.

Brittany, take a seat. This is clearly the plan of an idiot. But a plan, nonetheless, and one that required the barest modicum of human logic, which frankly I thought was beyond you.


Sam: I know what you're up to. Lip-syncing, beating up Jacob Ben Israel. You're intentionally hitting rock bottom.
Brittany: So I can make a glorious comeback just like Britney. I mean, look at her. She got paid $14 million dollars to be on X Factor, she looks great, and she has an amazing perfume you can smell from miles away. No matter what happened to her, she just came back stronger.
Sam: Consider this the last stop on the Train Wreck Express--an intervention.

[to Jake] I know what it feels like to be scared that you're not important, or smart, or worth anything. We had the same dad, bro.


[to Jake] You think you're a badass? Nailing a bunch of chicks and beating up some punks in the cafeteria? I'm the original badass. I had my first threesome at seven, and once, I beat up a police horse.


Cassie: Maria Von Trap, Willie Loman, Shrek. Those are the roles that are appropriate for your level of sex appeal.
Rachel: You're just jealous of me. Of all of us.
Brody: Rachel, don't.
Rachel: No, because we have our entire career ahead of us and yours ended before it even began. We're the future and you're just some YouTube joke.

[to Rachel] You're late. And dressed like a Walgreen's underwear model.

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