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This room feels weird. I can't shake the feeling that I'm inhaling a lot dead skin.


You're welcome to sing The Sound of Silence in your hotel room. Right now.

Sue [to her mother]

By the power invested in me by a website, I hereby pronounce you Sue and Sue. You may kiss yourself.


I'll bet people say you look man-ish, but I think it's perfectly alright for a woman to be handsome.


Santana: I'm dating Puck.
Quinn: You're getting naked with Puck.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

I can't suspend someone for shoving you into a locker. He'll just say he tripped and accidentally pushed you. I use that excuse all the time.


I will expel him faster than a Thai takeout place can read back a delivery order.


Kurt: When you call me "lady," that's bullying and it's really hurtful.
Sue: I'm sorry. I genuinely thought that was your name.

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