I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was, make them proud — not the bastard one I'm carrying now, of course — the ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.


Get out of my office... if you can manage squeezing through the door without your water breaking all over the carpet.


Will: I'm thinking about leaving my wife.
Sue: Well, I didn't see that one coming at all.

What if I were to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide.


You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.


Quinn: Coach Sylvester, we need to talk.
Sue: I've got nothing to say to you, preggo.

All I want is just one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.


I loved you, Terri. I really loved you.


Will: I should be allowed to feel good about myself.
Terri: This marriage works because you don't feel good about yourself!

As soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any of you.


The guys said if I took the Glee club photo, they'd make me choose between a Hitler mustache and buck teeth. And I can't rock either of those looks.


Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.


Glee Season 1 Episode 12 Quotes

While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.


The wedding was gonna be in Hawaii but they told me I couldn't bring my own fruit.