Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXGlee Quotes
Look, Rachel. You have a reputation for being an inherently selfish person. You rarely ask people what they think and when you do it's usually in the context of 'what do you think about me.'
Kitty
[to Rachel] Are you trying to pick me up? Because if you're thinking of going lezzie with a cheerleader, I think the world's kind of rooting for you and Quinn Fabray.
Kitty
[to Kurt and Walter] Shall we start with something to drink? Perhaps a Shirley Temple in a sippy cup for Sonny. And how about a chalky Ensure, enriched with calcium to fortify those brittle bones?
Sue
Rachel: I was so intent on being a Broadway star that I never even learned her name. Any of their names. There was Puck's brother, cross-dressing Mercedes, and the one with the fat mom, and and Rayder.
Kurt: Rider.
Rachel: See?
Your charms wore off a long time ago, William. Sometime around Bieber week.
Sue
Why would I stoop to such puerile acts? Because I hate you, Will Schuester. And I will stop at nothing until I see you homeless in the streets drinking gutter runoff and allowing passersby to perform lewd acts on your buttchin for money. You are a fatuous, dim-witted borderline pederast who tears up faster than a gay jihadi in a sandstorm. You have befouled the profession of teaching by accepting not only one but two Teacher of the Year Awards despite not speaking a word of the foreign language you purport to teach. Like the storied predators of yesteryear, Will, you pick only the most vulnerable students to favor while actively neglecting the others. Like that gross kid with the dreadlocks, or that poor Irish idiot Rory, or that black dancer whose name none of us remember because you rode his back to a win sectionals and then promptly ignored him into oblivion. You positively worship a student if they can so much as carry a tune and yet you don't know a single name of the only true musical genius in that choir room--THE BAND, who have demonstrated that they can at the drop of a hat play literally any song you can name and still you treat them like so much nameless human garbage.
Sue
Madison: More stage time for us.
Mason: Twinning!
Rachel: I'm actually not a beginner. My dads put me in lessons when I was four and I got bored so I quit.
Blaine: Huh! That's so unlike you.
Kurt: I do not want to get back together with Blaine. I've moved on. I met someone online. His name is Walter.
Sue: Oh, Porcelain, no. No no no no. You will not come out of this alive. This person is obviously a cannibal. I mean, look at you. You are exceptionally well-marbled. If I were on a deserted island with everybody I knew, I would absolutely eat you first. It doesn't even have to be a deserted island. There could be any number of casual dining establishments and I would still opt to eat you--a mouthwatering, delicious, corn-fed, porcelain rump roast.
Sam: What do you do in your free time?
Rachel: Hmmm...besides cry?
[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.
Brittany
Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.
