Tuesdays 8:00 PM on FOX

I don't know how to turn on a computer.


Why does everyone assume I'm angry all the time? It's called being sassy.


Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

You're a slut, Will. You're a slut, you're a slut. Everyone should know that.


Puck: Jesse will never fully know what it means like to be a Jew.
Rachel: I'm ironically turned on by your bad boy image, but let's keep this professional.
Puck: I'm outta here. Why should I stay if there's no chance of making out?

I bribed Will Schuester's landlord to bug his apartment with baby monitors under his couch. And in his bedroom.


I never understood how hard it is to get laughed at, especially in slow motion.


Rachel Berry is about to get musically promiscuous.


You had me at sex tape. How can I help?

Displaying quotes 91 - 99 of 411 in total