Glee

Glee Season 1 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 1 Episode 18: "Laryngitis"

Mr. Hummel: If things get serious, use protection.
Brittany: Does he mean like a burglar alarm?
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Kurt: I need you to respect my privacy. Brittany and I were just having sexual relations.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Brittany: Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: I'm not a box. There are more than four sides to me.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Brittany: You're pretty much the only guy in this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Rachel: I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Quinn: At least I don't have to listen to his stupid theories on how Super Mario Brothers changed civilization.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Sue: I'm gonna make it a habit to not stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Sue: So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Puck: Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad.
Mercedes: Seriously? That's what you came up with?
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Will: The glee club has lost its voice. It's time for us to get it back.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Puck: I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.
Mercedes: Me and you would not work out. You're top 40. I'm rhythm and blues.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Puck: I did some research, blacks and Jews have a history of sticking up for each other.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: Don't know if it's the missing mohawk or the whining, but I'm not turned on at all right now.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Puck: I feel like that guy who lost all his hair, then lost all his hair.
Santana : Samson?
Puck : Agassi.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Brittany [on mohawk-shaven Puck]: Who is that guy?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck: get ready black girl from Glee club whose name I can't remember right now. The Puckster is about to make you his.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck: What's the point in living when I suck so much?
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Rachel: I have chosen Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" because it's about overcoming obstacles and beating the odds. In my case, the obstacle is you: my lackluster teammates who refuse to carry their own weight.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 17: "Bad Reputation"

Sue: I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby's ass.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

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