Glee

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on FOX
Glee
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You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent.

Sue

I want it to look like Elvis' gold record room at Graceland, except I'll be wanting far few morbidly obese women wandering around.

Sue

They call it a funkification, meaning they show us what they've got and we spiral into a deep cloud of funk.

Artie

While Jackie Daniels is a great name for a power boat or something, it's not great for a baby girl.

Puck

What is your problem? It's just a moist towelette!

Kurt

We live in Ohio, not New York... or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren't fried.

Finn

Boys, I don't wanna hear about chafing just because you're wearing metal underwear. Not my problem.

Shelby

You look terrible. I look awesome.

Brittany

My dads are moving my therapist into our spare room.

Rachel

Quinn: You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? It's a girl.
Puck: Okay, fine. Jackie Daniels.

When I was little and I was sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got to a point where I didn't know if I was sad or thirsty.

Rachel

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 411 in total

Glee Season 1 Quotes

You have seven months of your life left. Enjoy it.

Rachel [to Quinn]

I'm full of ennui.

Kurt
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