Puck: Are you ready for this?

Rachel: As our team leader and arbiter of all that is good, I must say: I don't think that song is good enough for regionals.

I'm giving you full visitation rights to the twins that reside on my rib cage.

Santana [to Sam]

Sam: That's my James Earl Jones impression.
Santana: That is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.

If I was a country, my flag would be a big fist giving the rest of the world the finger.


I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama.


If I hear one song from that classic rock outfit journey, I will start pulling catheters.


I hate hospitals, William. That's why I kept voting for those death panels.


Sue: Where's the hate?
Will: Not the point of glee club, Sue.

Most teachers think that by cutting class, I might improve my grades.


Puck: Can I touch your knockers now?
Lauren: Only if you wanna lose your hand. But you're on your way.

Do dudes ever get erections when they wrestle with you?


Glee Season 2 Quotes

Sue: We've lost the true meaning of Halloween: fear.

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When I showed this to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy people lived.

Sue [on a piece of broccoli]