Can't you see how screwed up I am about this? I've had two girlfriends and both have cheated on me.

Finn

You know what you are, Sue? You're a Grinch.

Will

William, Elmo, you. Get the hell out of my office.

Sue [to Will, Emma and Beiste]

You're a regular Agatha Christie. Except even more sexless.

Sue

I'm everybody's Secret Santa. Yeah, you can just drop those anywhere.

Sue

You're not the only person at this school that consumes protein powder by the tubful.

Sue [to Beiste]

Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually guy. So we'll call that progress.

Kurt

Whether it's a heart attack or heartbreak, just like Broadway, the show must go on.

Rachel

I'm very specific when I give a gift. You don't know how many kittens I gave away because they just weren't right.

Rachel

When does Asian Santa arrive?

Tina

I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

Mike

I would like Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. I would also like sweet potato fries.

Lauren

Glee Season 2 Quotes

Even if your team has dropped their sequin-covered panties and urinated all over the stage like an elderly Carol Channing, they literally could not have done worse.

Sue

One girl ate a pigeon. That's how badly they wanna be Cheerios.

Sue