Just be grateful Comrade Obama still allows Christmas.

Mr. Pillsbury

I wanna do something special, like my dad. But without the whole dying part.


If you pee in my pool, I will kill you.

Coach Roz [to Sam]

You're in synchronized swimming and glee club. That's like some kind of death wish.


I'm really worried people are gonna think your legs look thinner than my arms.

Sugar [to Artie]

For God's sake, Amelia, it's 2012. If you wanna marry Will Schuester, ask him.


Is that a mohawk, Puckerman, or did someone glue a squirrel to your head?

Betty: I, Betty Faye Jackson, am the hottest bitch at McKinley High School... you may be wondering why I sound like the Queen of England. It's simple: in mind, I can sound like whomever I want. So lay off, haters.

Tonight's special is brought to you by Breadstix, now with even more breadsticks!


Homeless will be homeless for awhile, that's sort of the problem.


Rachel: You gave me a dead pig for Christmas.
Finn: It's not dead yet. You gotta get it fat first.

Where's my bling?


Glee Season 3 Quotes

You smell like Craigslist.


This is your moment. Okay? Three years in the making. Forget about everything else. Take it.