I appreciate the brovention but I just told her that so I could get a sympathy pants massage.


I have some simple rules when I'm getting ready for a big performance. First, no milk. Makes you too phlegmy. Second, no doorknobs. They spread infections. So do kisses. So what if I have some superstitions, too. I never step on cracks and sometimes I walk backwards. And everyone I see becomes a metaphor for the things that could stop me. I just give each one my gold star death stare. None of them stand a chance.


Moving on, what rhymes with Pre-industrial European deforestation?


Once, La Thibodeaux stopped a performance of Medea at The Met because someone glanced at their watch while she was doing one of her 'I'm killing my babies' arias.


I vowed not to speak with you unless William and Kate got pregnant, Liza passed, or unless one of us was in grave danger.


I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.


I have OCD. I throw awat a broom after I've used it once, and you think I'm gonna get married at a campground?


You and me, we've been doing this dance for over a decade. You know, Starsky and gay Hutch.


Champagne on a Tuesday? You've gone all Hunter S. Thompson.


I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.


Sam: Quinn's a great girl, but you're gonna have to decide: do you wanna be closer to God or closer to her?

I'm a good Christian, there's just no way a dude's gonna be able to resist.


Glee Season 3 Quotes

You smell like Craigslist.


This is your moment. Okay? Three years in the making. Forget about everything else. Take it.