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Chuck: What the hell is wrong with you?
Serena: Right now? Thirst. I need a drink. She called me a prostitute.
Chuck: Why do you think she did that?
Serena: I'm not sleeping with Patrick. You of all people know what a prostitute does.
- Permalink: What the hell is wrong with you? Right now? Thirst. I need a d...
Chuck: The reason Blair attacked you is because she misses you. After 18 years, you can't read Waldorf subtext?
Serena: I shouldn't have to. If that's how she feels then she should just tell me. It's the mature thing to do.
Chuck: This coming from someone who just pushed their best friend into a cake.
- Permalink: The reason Blair attacked you is because she misses you. After 1...
Chuck: Look, you think your friendship is going to take care of itself. You're not kids anymore. You can't say you hate each other and then make up an hour later on the MET steps.
Serena: You tell her that.
Chuck: I'm telling you. And you should be careful. Because one day you're gonna find yourself telling people about Blair Waldorf. The girl who used to be your best friend.
- Permalink: Look, you think your friendship is going to take care of itself....
Chuck: Look, ladies, please, this is supposed to be a classy event, not a sample sale at an outlet mall.
Blair: Chuck. You'll never believe what Serena did, she had my friend kicked out of the party!
Chuck: The call girl? Security just told me.
- Permalink: Look, ladies, please, this is supposed to be a classy event, not...
Chuck: Look, I don't know what's going on here, but if the girl's still here I'll find out what's going on and get to the bottom of it, okay?
Blair: Thank you, Chuck. And who's the one getting paid to date her clients, anyway?
Chuck: That's enough, Blair.
Blair: [to Serena] No! If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck ... the only prostitute here ... is you. Come on Chuck. I want some cake. [S shoves B's face into cake]
Gossip Girl: Blair and Serena at war again! Yummy.
- Permalink: Look, I don't know what's going on here, but if the girl's still...
I know I'm an enemy of the state right now, but what happened to you Nate? The guy I used to call my friend ... had a moral compass.Vanessa
- Permalink: I know I'm an enemy of the state right now, but what happened to...
Serena: Where is he?
Blair: Don't worry. I took care of it. I had him taken up to a suite.
Serena: What? Why?
Blair: He's bombed. He's drunker than Paula Abdul during Hollywood week.
Serena: Are you really that jealous that he's here with me?
Blair: Look, S. You know wasted better than most of us having been in that state so many times yourself. Looks like you just met your match.
- Permalink: Where is he? Don't worry. I took care of it. I had him taken u...
Did my son just walk out before playing the Q on a double letter? That is so not the Humphrey way.Rufus
- Permalink: Did my son just walk out before playing the Q on a double letter...
Serena: Well I can't wait for you to meet Patrick. He's over at the bar getting me a drink right now. I feel SO lucky. He's so attentive.
Blair: It doesn't take much, does it? What. No one's ever accused you of saying no.
- Permalink: Well I can't wait for you to meet Patrick. He's over at the bar ...
Nate: Certainly a step up from the Columbia dorms.
Chuck: Most penthouses are, Nathaniel.
- Permalink: Certainly a step up from the Columbia dorms. Most penthouses a...
Guy: Hey, hey! Look out, it's Bathroom Boy! Clear the way!
Dan: [confused] Good morning to you too.
- Permalink: Hey, hey! Look out, it's Bathroom Boy! Clear the way! Good mo...
Patrick: It's a remake of Leaving Las Vegas. They want to redo it with a younger cast.
Serena: Where did you get those scripts?
Patrick: In the garbage! I'm telling you, this one's amazing. Care to join me in a little research?
Serena: No, no research. Your team has been pushing really hard for the political one. And I worked my butt off to get you into this party tonight!
Patrick: Yeah, but Miley Cyrus has already signed on to play the Elisabeth Shue role. They must have seen her on that pole at the TCAs ...
- Permalink: It's a remake of Leaving Las Vegas. They want to redo it with a ...