That's their biggest secret? I was expecting something a little bit more American Psycho. Not stabbing a homeless man, but at least feeding a cat to an ATM.


Since Gothic Barbie remains safely quarantined upstate, feel free to stop by. If you're feeling lonely.


Dan: Chuck. Hey man, I was just stopping by to see Nate but I guess he's not here.
Chuck: He's in his room.
Dan: Oh he is? He's... not in class? I would have thought—
Chuck: You don't really know how to stage a run-in, do you?

Serena: Did you invite the entire Columbia faculty to your party tonight?
Blair: I may have invited the dean and whomever she favors. Why do you care? You're not going.
Serena: Well the anniversary party was canceled so yes I am. And now it turns out so is Colin.
Blair: Unless you mean Firth or Farrell I'm not listening.

Serena: Why are we sidebarring? Do you really want access to strip clubs?
Blair: No, I just don't want to seem like I'm ceding territory too easily.

Chuck: If you give me the Standard on weeknights I'll give you the Carlyle for the entire Christmas season.
Blair: Done. But I want an addendum that you can't bed hostesses from a roster of restaurants I frequent.

Serena: We've witnessed the Waldorf-Bass wars firsthand. We know you both. You have nuclear capability.
Nate: Sooner or later one of you is going to press the other's button and we're going to end up with nothing but cockroaches.

Blair: What is he doing here?
Chuck: What is she doing here?
Blair: And who brought the Avon Lady?
Nate: She's a court stenographer. And there's a notary on the way.

Dorota: Happy to have you home, Miss. Eleanor.
Eleanor: You didn't think I would miss throwing my only child a 20th birthday party.
Blair: Mother you do know that my actual birthday isn't until next week, don't you?
Eleanor: Twenty-three hours of labor, I am not likely to forget.

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