I do not go to the gym five times a week for my health!


Kill her then have sex with her - it's the Kappa Tau way.


Melanie? Oh come on you're a Tri-Pi. You take off your clothes for a grocery store grand-opening.


If Harry Potter can flash his wand in Equus, we should be able to show off our undies without punishment.


You single handedly stimulated the local undergarment industry - Obama can't say that.


Dr. Hastings: I'm not interested in your personal life, Cartwright!
Rusty: But you're the one who told me to lavaliere, I thought you'd want to know what happened.
Dr. Hastings: Oh yes, please, I'm dying to hear. It's all I've been thinking about. Between my wife snoring and an enlarged prostrate, that forces me to get up and urinate a dozen times, plus pondering the trials and tribulations of your love life, I could hardly sleep last night.

Hell to the no! I'm not in a number 4 sorority!


We may be November, but we're still July in spirit.


Evan: You know, I almost punched a guy in there because he asked for more gravy?
Cappie: That sounds like a worthy fight to me!

Rusty: Beaver, will you be my lavaliere bearer?
Beaver: What's a lavaliere bear, dude?
Rusty: Bearer - you just hold onto the lavaliere until I'm ready to give it to her.
Beaver: In a bear costume?

Casey: There must be some mistake - ZBZ IS July. We're always July. You know, sexy bathing suits, flags, sexy bathing suits...
Rebecca: Flags!
Casey: Yeah, and November is just turkeys...
Rebecca: And sweet potatoes and green bean casserole!
Casey: Yeah, how do you dress up as a sexy green bean casserole?

But it's not the end of the world. Don't you read the scriptures I leave on your pillow? There will be signs.


Greek Quotes

Rebecca: You are not a ZBZ, you are definitely not our rent boy. They're never gonna see you like that. You're basically one of the girls, except we're pretty and thin.
Dale: You did not just call me fat.
Rebecca: Oh yes I did.
Dale: Well you know what? I can diet, but you will always be ugly on the inside.

I do not go to the gym five times a week for my health!