PRESTON: "Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free, starting right now."
MIRANDA: "I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a God complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self."
PRESTON: "But, I-"
MIRANDA: "Wait. I still have 23 seconds and I’m not done."

CRISTINA: "You know, it's like there's a wall. The attendings and the residents are over there being surgeons, and we're over here being-"
MEREDITH: "Suturing, code-running, lab-delivering penis minders."
ALEX: "I hate being an intern."

"Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?"

GEORGE

MEREDITH: "So anyway, the crap crime scene guy can't get out here 'til tomorrow, so I get to spend the night with my penis!" [pauses] "Alex, don’t say it."
ALEX: "It was too easy anyway."

ALEX: "My head hurts."
CRISTINA: "Maybe it's a tumor."
ALEX: "You wish I had a tumor."
CRISTINA: "I'd rip your face off if it meant I got to scrub in."

MIRANDA: "So, doctors, why aren't we attempting to reattach the severed penis?"
CRISTINA: "Because teeth don't slice, they tear. If she had wanted to chop it off, things might be different. Plus, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with."
MIRANDA: "So, how do we proceed?"
CRISTINA: "Sew him up... minus a large part of the family jewels."
MIRANDA: "The outlook?"
MEREDITH: "He'll be urinating out of bag for a very long time."
CRISTINA: "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again."
MEREDITH: [sarcastically] "Oh, too bad."
CRISTINA: "A shame."
MIRANDA: "Let's all take a moment to grieve."

IZZIE: "I wouldn't have called you, but I can't get hold of a translator. Can you just ask her what's wrong?"
CRISTINA: "No."
IZZIE: "Why not?"
CRISTINA: "I grew up in Beverly Hills. The only Chinese I know is from a Mr. Chow's menu. Besides, I'm Korean."

GEORGE: "You know what you need?"
MEREDITH: "No... It’s sick and twisted. We said last time was the last time."
GEORGE: "Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. C’mon."
MEREDITH: "You know what would happen if anyone knew?"
GEORGE: "I'm doing it. You can come with me or you can stay here and be miserable."

GEORGE: [looking at babies] "Look at you! You’re so cute with your little yellow hat!"
MEREDITH: [smiles] "You are such a woman."

MEREDITH: "We have... custody of a penis?"
RICHARD: "Yes. Until the cops come for it."
MEREDITH: "Okay, well, what am I supposed to do with the penis?"

CRISTINA: "What are you doing?"
MEREDITH: "Oh, you know. Just sitting here with my penis."

MIRANDA: [to Cristina] "An intern was reassigned, so he's mine now. Have him shadow you for the day. Show him how I do things."
ALEX: "Alex Karev, nice to meet you."
CRISTINA: "Ah, the pig who called Meredith a nurse. I hate you on principle."
ALEX: "And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss ass. I hate you too."
CRISTINA: "Well, this should be fun then."

Grey's Anatomy Season 1 Quotes

"If I miss a real procedure because of this case, they're gonna call me 007, because I killed you."

CRISTINA

ALEX: "Morning, Dr. Model."
IZZIE: "Dr. Evil Spawn."
ALEX: "Ooooh, nice tat. Do they airbrush that out for the catalogs?"
IZZIE: "I don't know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?"