That girl's so whack, her first name should be knick knack paddy.


That is the least interesting pairing since chicken piscotti and pinot gris. Sorry been watching a lot of Frasier.


Dave: Alex and Dave, much like Dave's new haircut are keeping it cazsh.
Alex: Trust us the last thing we want is for things to get complicated like in It's Complicated, so we're just gonna go with it like in Just Go With It and be friends with benefits like in No Strings Attached.

Jane: Ill tell you what doesn't count, the Miami Heat's most recent NBA championship, it was an injury plagued strike shortened season, therefore Lebron still needs 6 rings to even get in the conversation with Jordan.
Alex: Are you done?
Jane: No, also Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar's boyfriends from The Wire.

You look like the Olsen twins brother Larry Kate Olsen.


Two things you should know about me Kent, I'm selfless and I have moves like Jagger, specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.


Man I love the workplace, fluorescent lighting, stale coffee and the sweet sound of men quoting classic comedies.


It's like a slinky with breasts.

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