Penny made a boo-boo.

Penny

Come on throw some shade to Papa.

Alex

You look like Coolio when he takes his braids out.

Brad

You're right. I don't have to be in charge, even though it's better when I am.

Jane

I mean I haven't really kept up with my acting aside from memorizing every one of Taye Diggs' monologues from Private Practice, but that's just to stay sharp.

Brad

Excuse me, I don't normally do this. But you have the hair of a greek shipping magnate's worthless son.

Alex

No one touches the goatee.

Dave

I got dumped by a girl in high school, licked my wounds, got way into anime and moved on.

Brad

She's not even instagramming anymore. She hasn't posted a picture of an appetizer all week.

Brad

Wait Penny wrote a play about a guy who's about to get his heart ripped out? Is this about Dave?

Alex

What she did was a strong move by a strong woman. She's basically Mary J. Blige.

Jane

Those are cool. And this is coming from a guy who wore a bandana around his jeans leg in high school, so I know what I speak of.

Dave
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 330 in total

Happy Endings Quotes

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]
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