Happy Endings

Happy Endings Quotes (Page 8)

Season 3 Episode 5: "P & P Romance Factory"

Alex: He could be your soul mate, your kindred spirit, your One Tree Hill.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Quaint. Isn't that the space between a gal's goal and her penalty box?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jane: So you and the guys wanna go check out some porno? Get some eyes on some thighs? Some peepers on some creepers? Some rods and cones on some bras and thongs?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Max: A fist bump is a sacred contract between the fists of men.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max [to Alex]: Alright enough with the showboating you tiny hooligan, it's bad enough we're getting beat by someone who's only slightly larger than the actual foosball players.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad [to Jane]: Aww boo, you're not laughing, what's wrong? You consti?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 4: "More Like Stanksgiving"

Max [to Brad]: Busta bust, why don't you throw your hands where my eyes can see, which would be in my sink doing my dishes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: Henceforth, I will now be known as "has or deals with clams."
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad: Kerkovich? More like Kerkobitch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: We are just like two rabbits...doing it all the time...there's so much sex...and it's all hetero.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: This is an ergonomic work hammock. See how easy? No carpal tunnel for this productive gal.
Penny: That's a sex swing...
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: If that season had aired, I would've been the first openly gay person on television.
Jane: Except for Ellen, Rosie, all the career high guys.
Penny: Oh and Norman Korpi from the Real World season one.
Max: Deep cut.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: You guys wouldn't understand, neither of your ancestors were at the first Thanksgiving
Jane: Ok, neither were the Navajo.
Dave: One of our many snubs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: We were still reeling from the events surrounding the film Vanilla Sky.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad: I need some hand sani for my face.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: If I don't show up with a sack of clams I'm gonna look like a real dope!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 3: "Boys II Menorah"

Brad: I was an investment banker Max. That's like one step below tonight show bandleader.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: Old Dave and Alex never made any effort to be romantic at all. You and I just tried so hard we shut down O'Hare for two hours.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max [to Brad]: You think a Bar Mitzvah gets hyped in this town without me knowing about it?
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: You saw him cramp up during the Horah and he was nowhere to be found when "Shout" came on. No one could get even the slightest bit louder and at no point could anyone get even at all softer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Happy Endings" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!