Happy Endings

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 2 Episode 15: "The Butterfly Effect Effect"

Penny: The pinot and the pants are flowing, the brie is a-baking, it's time to stop waiting and start exhaling.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: My skin is so dry it has a British accent.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alex: I'll see you guys later...I hope not sporadically.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane: Sorry we're late, Brad insisted on a Brazilian which takes longer than his usual bikini wax.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: It's like our Groundhog Day, if the groundhog was one part blonde overachiever with control issues and a fondness for formal shorts, and one part Brad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 14: "Everybody Loves Grant"

Max: It's called taking "predemptive" measures.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad [to Grant]: Check it out bro! Twinsies!
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Every group needs a Dave, like Dave Matthews band.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: Max is the lazy one, Jane is the Type A one, Penny's the single girl, Brad's the married one, and Alex is the one with the store.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: I can't help it, I love to hear the sound of bones crunching.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jane: Either all the good couples are rude or they wanna have sex with us.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Max: Grant is awesome. He's different than all the freaks you guys usually date.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Max: This is not the time for jokes guys. Especially when this is the fattest I've ever been. How could you let me out of the house looking this fat?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: C'mon guys, you always leave me hanging with the dirty sound effects.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 13: "The St. Valentine's Day Maxssacre"

Penny [to Dave]: Your first email address was ThreesomeChaser@PulaskiHillsMiddleSchool.com.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brad [to Max]: Fat Joey.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane: It's like "Weekend at Bernie Mac's" back here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: I just blew a threesome.
Penny: Two V's and one D? Or two D's and one V?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane: The doctor said you're lucky you're still alive.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: After I got mistaken for a whore, it made me realize something.
Max: That your grandmother was a whore?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Happy Endings" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!