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Colin Hanks: There's 2 things I always say. 1: Yes, that Hanks. 2: Fame doesn't change you, it changes your friends.

Penny: Ever since she's been hanging out with Avi's crew all she eats is pills and powders.
Jane: Sounds like my Vegas diet.

Ooo floor bacon!


Dave is Freddy Krueger-ing us in our dreams...with sex.


Drunk Jane loves a good cleaning.


Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

I call it the boxer thong, business up front, party in the rear.


My body is a temple and your bodies are stadium urine troughs.


Wow we really are losing the war on drugs if animals are blowing rails.


Are you ready for the annual Brad and Jane spring smackdown?!?


That's the last time I administer an at home "bro-zilian." Speaking of, Dave we need more duct tape.


I'm not the one who always goes out to the terrace to stretch because quote, the perv across the way needs to eat too!

Brad [to Jane]
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 148 in total

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."