Happy Endings

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 2 Episode 13: "The St. Valentine's Day Maxssacre"

Jane [about her Grandma]: JFK once called her a real Chicago slut.
Penny: Why are you always so proud of that.
Jane: It's Camelot, brew!
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad: No no no no I don't do drills or shots, I can't do pain, ok? Give me the goof juice, just give me the goof juice and don't be bashful, put me under, put me all the way under. I won't get mad if I make in my pants. Seriously I won't sue if I poo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: Not everyone's as terrible as you Penny, with all due respect.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny [to Max]: We get it, they're all 69 dollars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: If the sex is crazy on a regular night, imagine what the VD sex is gonna be like.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 12: "Makin' Changes!"

Penny: It's like he's squatting in a vacant Bennigans.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: It's 2012, welcome to sexytown, population Jeffrey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane: Old brad didn't take baths because his tub was filled with 311 CDs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dave: It's kind of my date V, I get V in this V.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: I call it my emergen-tee.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dave [to Alex and Max]: You guys are addicted to these addiction shows.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: I don't want no scrub, scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane: Don't change for a guy, meet a guy and change him.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jane [to Penny]: Every choice you make in your life about everything is monumentally wrong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 11: "Meat the Parrots"

Max: I can't believe we thought Hop Sings was rentin' tush!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dave: Stop baby bro-ing me, you're not Johnny Drama.
 • Rating: Unrated

Big Dave: You make a sexy sandwich son.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max [to Alex]: You've been cooped up here way too long. You're starting to "Rear Window" and make stuff up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Alex what was so important that you had to call us over here, I was right in the middle of doing nothing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: Wait so Dave's new mom is Penny's old mom?
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Happy Endings" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!