Sundays 10:00 PM on Showtime
House-of-lies

Can I get an imminent demise?

Clyde

Monica: Do you know what a golden shower is?
Roscoe: When it's sunny and it rains?
Monica: Oh that's magical.

One word about my engagement and I will cut off O'Henry, Supa Dupa and Knight Rider and I will throw them in a Mexican dog fight.

Jeannie

The deterrent aspect of mutually assured destruction is predicated on the assumption that both parties are rational. Now you not being a good person by any stretch are at least a rational individual. I on the other hand, I'm a goddamn terrorist and I will crash my 767 right into your prodigious fucking forehead.

Marty

I would let a homeless schizophrenic rub my feet.

Jeannie

I bet your dad has to piss vodka just to get a blowie.

Jeannie

Hey Greg, um, how's your beautiful wife? I heard she tastes like Pinkberry.

Marty

Shut up, I'm not drunk!

Jeannie

We are here to open wallets not minds.

Marty
Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 58 in total