House of Lies

Sundays 10:00 PM on Showtime
House of lies
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The deterrent aspect of mutually assured destruction is predicated on the assumption that both parties are rational. Now you not being a good person by any stretch are at least a rational individual. I on the other hand, I'm a goddamn terrorist and I will crash my 767 right into your prodigious fucking forehead.

Marty

Monica: Do you know what a golden shower is?
Roscoe: When it's sunny and it rains?
Monica: Oh that's magical.

One word about my engagement and I will cut off O'Henry, Supa Dupa and Knight Rider and I will throw them in a Mexican dog fight.

Jeannie

Can I get an imminent demise?

Clyde

I would let a homeless schizophrenic rub my feet.

Jeannie

I bet your dad has to piss vodka just to get a blowie.

Jeannie

Oh man do you realize, I've never had Korean Barbecue in my life? That was awesome!

Greg

Some men find pregnant women sexy. Me? My penis is sad!

Marty

We are here to open wallets not minds.

Marty

Shut up, I'm not drunk!

Jeannie

Hey Greg, um, how's your beautiful wife? I heard she tastes like Pinkberry.

Marty

White guys in handcuffs? That's not even supposed to happen.

Marty
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 58 in total
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