The deterrent aspect of mutually assured destruction is predicated on the assumption that both parties are rational. Now you not being a good person by any stretch are at least a rational individual. I on the other hand, I'm a goddamn terrorist and I will crash my 767 right into your prodigious fucking forehead.


You know what? Maybe I should suck your dick, I've already got your balls in my hand.


Making a great mix CD requires a level of guile and and and whim you could not possibly understand.


A Stella McCartney scoop neck sweater and a nice pair of wide leg slacks. You know what would make it all really fierce? Crocs! I'm just gonna come right out and say it, the movie version of Rent, way better. Nicki Minaj strangles puppies.


Phoebe: Well I coached the hell out of Jeannie and she was the sexiest little kid on that stage.
Clyde: Sexy seems like the wrong word.

One word about my engagement and I will cut off O'Henry, Supa Dupa and Knight Rider and I will throw them in a Mexican dog fight.


Doug: Jeannie I wanted to get you a penis cake.
Jeannie: I'll take the penis cake as well, chocolate?

Some men find pregnant women sexy. Me? My penis is sad!


I think I'm OD'ing...I'm over D'ing!


Doug: I think I'm gonna float away.
Clyde: Let it go!

Oh man do you realize, I've never had Korean Barbecue in my life? That was awesome!


Love him or hate him, whether he survives or gets thrown to the wolves, Marty Kaan is at least his own man.

K. Warren

House of Lies Quotes

Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?


That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.