House of Lies

Sundays 10:00 PM on Showtime
House of lies
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Daddy, you're about to fall in love with us for we have officially found the creamy center of the Ho Ho.

Clyde

Roscoe: Did you hear I'm being wrongfully charged like Joan of Arc?
Marty: We're going with Hurricane Carter buddy.

Hey Marty you gotta treasure your team, treat 'em right, love 'em up! Am I right Jeannie, who reminds me of my wife who left me after Marty's wife made her squirt?

Greg

Marty: What we have here, basically it is a failed culture OK? It's a broken pedagogical paradigm in The New Pacific School. What started out as say a system based on the near perfect theosophical teachings of Rudolph Steiner has now descended! It's now an outmoded anachronistic bastardization, well a limitation really, of its original intent...really.
Gita: Mr. Kaan? Mr. Kaan!
Marty: Yes.
Gita: I have a doctorate in education from Stanford.
Marty: Oh boy!

Fuckin' Utah!

Marty

You are good unless you screw up.

Marty

Doug: She was smiling at all of us.
Clyde: At your faces yes, but she was smiling at my cock.

Monica: Do you know what a golden shower is?
Roscoe: When it's sunny and it rains?
Monica: Oh that's magical.

When in Rome bitches!

Clyde

Now I would rather blow a deaf donkey than stay in one of these places, but they are undeniably profitable.

Marty

There's a lot of blue on this page.

Doug

I smoked better weed than this with my seventh grade teacher.

Jeannie
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 58 in total