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House-of-lies

Clyde: Which Clooney was that because I've never seen that in my entire life?
Doug: The Facts Of Life Clooney, TV's everyman.
Clyde: TV Clooney is not the real Clooney unless you're talking about ER then barely maybe one season of Clooney.

Don't poke the bear when he's hungry. He was a nightmare on Jenny Craig.

Roscoe

Marty: You, the one who started this whole thing from your dorm room while spanking the monkey before your eight o'clock.
Doug: God, he's takin' me back.
Jeannie: Mmm me too.

I bet your dad has to piss vodka just to get a blowie.

Jeannie

I would let a homeless schizophrenic rub my feet.

Jeannie

Shut up, I'm not drunk!

Jeannie

It's very cute the way you all are sort of learning at your own pace.

Marty

Hey Greg, um, how's your beautiful wife? I heard she tastes like Pinkberry.

Marty

Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?

Roscoe

That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.

Jeremiah
Displaying quotes 49 - 58 of 58 in total

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House of Lies Quotes

Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?

Roscoe

That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.

Jeremiah
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