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House-of-lies

Now I would rather blow a deaf donkey than stay in one of these places, but they are undeniably profitable.

Marty

There's a lot of blue on this page.

Doug

I smoked better weed than this with my seventh grade teacher.

Jeannie

Clyde: Which Clooney was that because I've never seen that in my entire life?
Doug: The Facts Of Life Clooney, TV's everyman.
Clyde: TV Clooney is not the real Clooney unless you're talking about ER then barely maybe one season of Clooney.

Don't poke the bear when he's hungry. He was a nightmare on Jenny Craig.

Roscoe

Marty: You, the one who started this whole thing from your dorm room while spanking the monkey before your eight o'clock.
Doug: God, he's takin' me back.
Jeannie: Mmm me too.

I bet your dad has to piss vodka just to get a blowie.

Jeannie

I would let a homeless schizophrenic rub my feet.

Jeannie

Shut up, I'm not drunk!

Jeannie
Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 58 in total