Favorite House Quotes
I NEED THE DRUGS! Hmmm... works for Jack Bauer.
You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.
If I wanted you to be like me, I'd urge you to make a stupid, stubborn mistake that blows up your life and leaves you lonely and miserable.
Belief implies a level of giving a crap I am never going to achieve.
I don't want you to change. I know you're screwed up. I know you are always gonna be screwed up. But you're the most incredible man I've ever known. You are always gonna be... the most incredible man I have ever known. So unless you're breaking up with me, I'm going home now.
Dr. Cuddy
How you manage to elevate your narcissism to beneficence is masterful.
Dr. Wilson
Alvie: I didn't know there was a section of the brain just for hope.
House: It's very, very tiny.
I'm gonna pretend to go to work now.
Dr. Wilson: Why is it always reasonable in Houseland to take an emotional problem and sidestep it by turning it into a mechanical problem?
House: Because in Houseland - and the rest of the universe, by the way - when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer.
House: Do you know why you're black?
Patient: Because God loves me more than he loves you?
Here's my impression of Foreman on the happiest day of his life. (stares) Now the saddest day of his life. (stares)
Taub
Thirteen: I'm gonna check out this new lesbian bar tonight.
House: Your life is awesome.
