Favorite House Quotes
Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you giving me these?
House: Because, while they're all running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.
Dr. Foreman: There's an entire department for that.
House: Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.
Colleen: I clearly didn't lead him along or anything like that, which proves that I'm not a tease. So why is your girlfriend mad at you?
House: I'm getting a kind of bossy vibe. I take it you're into that?
Colleen: Don't answer. Your turn.
House: First she got mad, then I stole her computer to fix things. And then we got the case.
Mrs. Corwin: Wait, so you tried to fix your relationship by stealing her computer?
House: Well, when you say it like that... yes.
All right, I'll send along one of your big brothers to help. (indicates Foreman, Chase, Taub) Do you want Scary, Swarmy, or Shorty?
Dr. Wilson: Well, at least the Alzheimer's patient in 202 won't remember she only got half a ham sandwich.
House: I'm doing her a favor.
It's real. Unfortunately. Because Vicodin doesn't cause rash, fever, and joint pain. It does make Taub considerably less annoying, though.
House: Who password-protects a computer they keep in a locked desk in a locked office?
Masters: Someone who works with someone who thinks it's okay to break into other people's homes?
Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?
She needs support and comfort. Both things I famously suck at.
I didn't wanna kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly, preferably with acid.
Masters
Keep talking like Wilson and you're face is gonna freeze like that.
