Popular House Quotes
House: A Portuguese man was diagnosed three years ago with C.N.S.-affected sleeping sickness. His only connection with Africa was through a girlfriend who'd served with the military in Angola.
Dr. Chase: Boy. Where'd you find that?
House: The Journal of the Instituto de Higiene e Medicinia Tropical. You don't read Portuguese?
Dr. Cameron: You do?
House: Pretty sure that's what it said. Either that or it was an ad for sunglasses.
House: You check her E.K.G. results before she left the other day?
Dr. Wilson: You ordered it.
House: You're the responsible one.
She's all upset 'cause we paid more attention to the other girl. You check out her ass. I've got the chest.
It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath?? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?
Cuddy
Dr. Wilson: I'm not gonna date a patient's daughter.
House: Very ethical. Of course, most married men would say they don't date at all.
You're brain damaged. Doomed to feeling good for the rest of your life.
House: I want you to go to his house and find his stash. I'll bet you know all the good hiding spots.
Dr. Foreman: Actually, I never did drugs.
House: (speaking to Cameron) Better go with him. In case he gets high.
Dr. Wilson: (quoting a poem from a patient of House's) "The healer with his magic powers! / I could rub his gentle brow for hours. / His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, / Everything about him leave me raw..."
House: Psych ward's upstairs
Dr. Wilson: "...with joy. Oh, House your very name / Will never leave this girl the same." It's not bad for an 82-year-old. She asked me to give that to her true love.
House: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.
Dr. Wilson: That's fairly disgusting.
House: That's ageism.
Dr. Wilson: You better watch yourself around this babe.
Dr. Cameron: You really never did any drugs?
Dr. Foreman: Now this is gonna be a racial thing.
Dr. Cameron: Deflecting a personal question with a joke. Gee, who do I know that does that?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, I'm just like him. Except for the angry, bitter, pompous, cripple part.
Dr. Cameron: Maybe we should all pitch in and get you a nice cane. You've already got the matching gym shoes.
When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done... Trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you I also set aside $50,000 a year for legal expenses. So far you've come in under budget.
Dr. Cuddy
Phone works. Next time you want to make me feel all warm and fuzzy, leave me a message.
(about House) The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have.
Dr. Cuddy
