(seeing a photo of a fitness trainer) Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.

House

Dr. Cuddy: Other doctors actually use their offices for crazy stuff like seeing patients. Not throwing a ball against the wall and calling it work.
Dr. Wilson: It's his process. That ball saves lives.

Taub: How come you haven't said anything about this?
Kutner: It's no big secret. I guess I'm just not very chatty.
Taub: You told us when you renewed your subscription to National Geographic.

House: I'm in an elevator, can't run away.
Dr. Cuddy: Can't run away anyway.
House: That's just mean. Why are we still together?
Dr. Cuddy: We are going to our office.
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.
Dr. Cuddy: Now that's just mean.

Dr. Cuddy: Any idea why we are getting half as many requests for you as usual?
House: Democrats' health care plan?

Emmy: When I got the surgery, I got healthy, and when I got healthy, I got happy.
Taub: I'm not sure you're happy, but if you are, being healthy didn't do it, being pretty did. Poop in the bedpan.

Displaying all 6 quotes