Lee: How come I'm not better? God's not supposed to work in trial and error.
House: God's mistakes are well-documented. If he'd done everything right the first time, there'd have been one plague and zero great flood.

Dr. Wilson: Your crash was ten miles from the Orange County Progressive Pain Clinic.
House: You live ten miles from Mary's Dress Shop. Yet that's not even on my list of reasons that I think you're secretly a transvestite.

Dr. Cuddy: What were you doing up there, anyway?
House: Antiquing. I found you a late Victorian corset. Come by later, I'll tie you up.

Lee: (thinking) I never thought I'd be praying for a brain tumor, but please, dear God.
House: If you're praying in there, stop it right now.

She's the smart one. I just keep Dark and Darker to fill out the quota.

That's my diagnostics posse. Hot, Dark, and Darker.

Molly: I don't know how God is going to get us through this. But He will.
House: Stop it, I'm blushing.

Hey, genius. I think it violates certain ethical laws to rip the organs out of a guy who's still alive. Certain law laws, too.

Kutner: You really lost all that money?
Taub: I don't care about the money. I just feel bad for Rachel.
Kutner: She married a guy in one situation and ended up with another. That's hard on anyone.
Taub: Thanks. Makes me feel much better hearing my wife's a gold digger.

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