House

House Season 5 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 5 Episode 11: "Joy to the World"

House: If I wanted gifts, I would just look deep into my patients' eyes and act like you. "Oh, I'm so sorry you're dying, Mrs. Moron. Of course I'll sleep with you. What I lack in skill, I can make up for in..."
Dr. Wilson: You'd just wind up insulting her. Perhaps calling her "Mrs. Moron."
 • Rating: Unrated

House: You talked to Wilson.
Taub: He has very girly handwriting, by the way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 10: "Let Them Eat Cake"

House: (seeing a photo of a fitness trainer) Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cuddy: Other doctors actually use their offices for crazy stuff like seeing patients. Not throwing a ball against the wall and calling it work.
Dr. Wilson: It's his process. That ball saves lives.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Taub: How come you haven't said anything about this?
Kutner: It's no big secret. I guess I'm just not very chatty.
Taub: You told us when you renewed your subscription to National Geographic.
 • Rating: Unrated

House: I'm in an elevator, can't run away.
Dr. Cuddy: Can't run away anyway.
House: That's just mean. Why are we still together?
Dr. Cuddy: We are going to our office.
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.
Dr. Cuddy: Now that's just mean.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cuddy: Any idea why we are getting half as many requests for you as usual?
House: Democrats' health care plan?
 • Rating: Unrated

Emmy: When I got the surgery, I got healthy, and when I got healthy, I got happy.
Taub: I'm not sure you're happy, but if you are, being healthy didn't do it, being pretty did. Poop in the bedpan.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "House" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!