Good thing I brought my axe cane.

Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?

She needs support and comfort. Both things I famously suck at.

Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?

House: How often do you use your vibrator?
Carmen: Excuse me?!
House: Your battery-operated Brad Pitt.

House: Who password-protects a computer they keep in a locked desk in a locked office?
Masters: Someone who works with someone who thinks it's okay to break into other people's homes?

Dr. Wilson: You okay?
House: Why wouldn't I be? I solved my case.
Dr. Wilson: But your patient died.
House: I didn't say in time.

Dr. Foreman: I assume you're planning on screwing it up so you want to maximize witnesses.
House: Why does everyone go to that?
Dr. Foreman: Experience.
House: Shut up.

It's real. Unfortunately. Because Vicodin doesn't cause rash, fever, and joint pain. It does make Taub considerably less annoying, though.

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