House

House Season 7 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 7 Episode 14: "Recession Proof"

Dr. Foreman: Are you wearing my tie?
Taub: I saw it in your closet, and it happened to match my shirt.
Dr. Foreman: Why were you in my closet?
Taub: Looking for a tie. What's the big deal?
House: Obviously he wants you out of the closet for some reason. I suspect marriage, but I'm liberal that way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cuddy: I assume you're avoiding me because of the charity gala.
House: This Friday? It completely slipped my mind.
Dr. Cuddy: So you'll be there?
House: No, I meant it slipped my mind to tell you I'm not going.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: My head's on your vagina.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: If I had to choose between saving everyone and loving you and being happy, I choose you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 13: "Two Stories"

House: How often do you use your vibrator?
Carmen: Excuse me?!
House: Your battery-operated Brad Pitt.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: Who password-protects a computer they keep in a locked desk in a locked office?
Masters: Someone who works with someone who thinks it's okay to break into other people's homes?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cuddy: I want you to care about more than just what you want. What you think. You need me, House. And you may even love me. But you don't care about me. And I deserve someone who does.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: I just know that I need to do something. I need her in my life. You know what it's like to actually need someone?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: If porn was bad, why would there be so many nuns in it?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

House: First she got mad, then I stole her computer to fix things. And then we got the case.
Mrs. Corwin: Wait, so you tried to fix your relationship by stealing her computer?
House: Well, when you say it like that... yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sophie: Isn't that like sexual harassment?
House: Not if you're good-looking.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Colleen: I clearly didn't lead him along or anything like that, which proves that I'm not a tease. So why is your girlfriend mad at you?
House: I'm getting a kind of bossy vibe. I take it you're into that?
Colleen: Don't answer. Your turn.
 • Rating: Unrated

House: They're all morons and everybody lies.
Gabe: Wait, if everybody lies, then that means you're lying right now.
House: I didn't say everybody always lies... Aristotle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cuddy: You are my problem. You are the most selfish, self-centered son of a bitch on the face of the planet! And I'm sick of it! I'm just... done. I can't deal with you anymore.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 12: "You Must Remember This"

Dr. Foreman: Why are you giving me these?
House: Because, while they're all running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.
Dr. Foreman: There's an entire department for that.
House: Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.
 • Rating: Unrated

House: Masters, when you finally blossom into a woman, would you ever sleep with a man who had a cat?
Masters: Sure.
House: Wrong, the answer is no. Slut.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Wilson: Sarah would have been destroyed at the shelter.
House: Aww, who wouldn't want a cat that croaks if you're not at home twice a day to shoot it up?
 • Rating: Unrated

Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.
 • Rating: Unrated

Masters: What about a tutor?
Taub: I don't need a tutor.
House: Tutor it is. Choose your poison. Chase, if you prefer pounding Aussie beers and commiserating over the suckiness of divorce. Masters, if you want nervous energy, flash cards, and obnoxious pieces of arcane trivia. Foreman, if you need to be berated by a humorless hard-ass.
Taub: Foreman.
House: Interesting. You must be more worried than you look.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "House" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!