Thirteen: You're married?!
House: You were gone so long. Green card.

Some puzzles are just too good to share.

She's just installing the cable. That's not a euphemism.

Taub: It's a fake marriage, but a real honeymoon?!?
House: Most are!

You're a lot of things, House, but you've never been a sadist. You're pummeling an opponent who isn't fighting back.

Wilson

Foreman: You just said you weren't even going.
Taub: I still have feelings.

See what happens when women don't need to serve men to stay in the country? You get all uppity.

It's the classic "you dumped me, so I'm gonna get married a week later" rouse.

House: I don't think his real name is Ferris Bueller.
Martha: Why? Seriously. Who is that?
Taub: They say he's a righteous dude.

Dr. Wilson: We are gonna talk about this, and we're gonna deal with this.
House: So I have no choice. Fine. Unless... unless... yes, I do. I do have legs. I see you didn't factor those into your brilliant plan.

Masters: House, how many prostitutes have you had?
House: As in eaten? Ever? This year?
Masters: Slept with. Since you've been here.
House: All but one. She did my taxes.

Dr. Wilson: Maybe... talk to someone.
House: Already scheduled.
Dr. Wilson: Really?
House: I'm not an idiot. I know I need help.
Dr. Wilson: Okay. That's... great. I meant, like, a counselor.
House: I know.
Dr. Wilson: But you meant a hooker.
House: Yeah. baby steps.

House Season 7 Quotes

Dr. Cuddy's first assignment was for me to get to know everything about Dr. House's team... and not to believe anything any of them told me.

Alex

Dr. Foreman: Has anyone seen House?
Taub: It's 10:00 a.m. I'd be worried if he was here.